Huge, over-populated global cities smothered in pollution are causing the growth of a strange, underground creature; Super Rats (No not Supermen)!
Rats fed on our crap are beginning to grow to enormous sizes, have huge teeth and tails, and are frightening the shit (pretty common down there) out of sewer workers entering their abodes.
Jaggedone, who owns his own army, the CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) decided to send his star sewer reporter, Stinky Winky-Bogholes, down below to find out what all the fuss is about and here is his report, and it's quite pungent!
"Jaggedone, I have seen these f'ing giant rats scampering around the sewers below Calcutta, which is a shit hole too, and man, even my cockroach comrades are running for their wretched lives. I witnessed a giant albino bastard rat giving out orders to his infantry and things aint looking good man (My reporter just swallowed a giant LSD tablet)! It seems as though they are marching like Kim Jong's rubber-legged army, and preparing to go upstairs to conquer the world! Who the fuck needs nukes when you've got an army of giant polluted rats to do the job!"
A North Korean general, disguised as a giant rat, was also seen down below in the sewers under Seoul hoping to employ polluted rats for an inevitable invasion of Western hypocrisy and Jaggedone jumped on his private jet hoping to reach a tax paradise before tabloid rats get hold of his bent tax returns, minus VAT!