Written by D. L. Hawkinson

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

image for Navajo Code Talkers in Controversial White House Ceremony, Hook Up with Melania
Feather that Trump stole from the Navajo Code Talkers, put it on eBay, still waiting for bid

Washington, DC. At the White House, President Trump honored Navajo Code Talkers in a ceremony that even his staff admitted "was slapped together in ten minutes once we found out the old Indian dudes were in town," according to an anonymous, very senior aide (Jared Kushner).

During that event, Trump--showing his remarkable skills as a consummate showman/jack ass/clown car driver--couldn't help himself by noting that the Congress has its own Indian. Pocahontas. AKA Elizabeth Warren. AKA the senator who thinks she's going to be the next President.

While Trump's racist comments were the focus of people's outrage, reporters missed the best part of the ceremony, however. Even Kristen Welker missed it, and she's Indian. But from India. At least her parents are. If that makes any difference.

While Trump prattled on incoherently, the Navajo Code Talkers were secretly signaling their thoughts to anyone familiar with Navajo Code Talk.

Chief LL Bean Red Shirt constantly repeated his call for help: "This Trump dude smells bad. I'm going to lose my lunch. Please, for the love of the Great Spirit, get me out of here!"

One Who Walks with Stiff Snake agreed, then added: "Trump is a #!*?!#! moron. Great Man Full of Oil on Shoes was right about Man Full of Soiled Britches. How'd we get roped into this?"

And Stuck in Iron Chair with Wobbly Wheels, in his most heart-rendering tone, pleaded, "My teeth fell out, and my iron chair with wobbly wheels ran them over. Please get me out of here. Maybe we could stop for soup. I like chicken noodle."

Chief LL Bean Red Shirt agreed, then turned to Trump and said in plain English, "Hey, dumb-ass, I enjoyed your wife last night."

"Me, too," smiled One Who Walks with Stiff Snake. "She's pretty good, complains your breath is bad and you fart while doing the horizontal shuffle. She's going to join us. We're REAL men, tubby."

The three Navajo Code Talkers then left, their hearts greatly warmed by the experience.

In a side note: Kristen Welker, Katy Tur, and Hallie Jackson all agreed to go out on dates with the ninety-year-old Navajo Code Talkers. The three reporters admitted, "Who else is going to go out with us? Really? Do you know anyone? Anyone?"

"I just hope they can keep up with us," quipped One Who Walks with Stiff Snake. "We can get pretty frisky in the Teepee, or Adobe, or Holiday Inn."

In a follow-up note: When Kellyanne Conway heard that "purveyors of 'liberal fake news' were 'going to town' with the ancient Indians," she butted in and said she'd give them all a good time, a terrific time, "a fantastic time the likes of which they'd never seen before."

Chief LL Bean Red Shirt, One Who Walks with Stiff Snake, and Stuck in Iron Chair with Wobbly Wheels all declined, saying their immunizations were no longer up to date.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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