Elon Musk Develops System to Transport Trapped Shoppers Out of Ikea Stores

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Tuesday, 21 November 2017

image for Elon Musk Develops System to Transport Trapped Shoppers Out of Ikea Stores
Shoppers Snake Their Way Through Ikea Maze

Palo Alto, California - Elon Musk, the celebrated technology pioneer who founded and runs Tesla and Spacex, has announced a new startup that would develop technology allowing shoppers, burned-out spouses of those shopping, and others lost in Ikea stores to quickly exit the confusing maze of furniture and housewares in a matter of seconds.

This compares to the hours it takes to find a way out of the winding, confusing path of walkways that eventually funnels through the warehouse and check stands of the stores.

"We can't reveal details of the technology behind our device, but we are discussing it with Ikea company officials and plan to proceed if details can be worked out. There is a pent-up demand for this product due to the complete lack of usable exits in these stores, the lack of phone and internet service inside the concrete buildings, and shoppers having to subsist on Swedish Meatballs until they can find their way out", explained Musk at a news conference with members of the financial press in Palo Alto, California.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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