Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

image for 24-Hour Barbie Channel Is Starting To Get On Man's Nerves
A slightly-doctored Barbie

There was a distinct feeling of déjà vu for one man in the Battambang commune of Tapon last night, after his daughter and stepdaughters demanded, once again, to watch the 'Barbie channel'.

Moys Kenwood, 54, had his home wired-up for cable TV last December so that he could watch Premier League football, but things haven't turned out quite as he'd expected they might. Kenwood:

"I've not watched any football yet - the kids won't let me. They're always watching the Barbie channel."

The 'Barbie channel' is a 24-hour rolling program featuring the animated movie releases of children's favourite fashion-conscious 'good girl', Barbie.

To date, there have been thirty-seven movies starring Barbie as various characters such as Rapunzel, Thumbelina, and Mariposa.


"I must've seen every one of them at least twice. Every time I want to watch something, the girls want Barbie. 'Barbie in the Nutcracker', 'Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses', 'A Fashion Fairytale', 'Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus' - I could go on, but won't. I wouldn't mind, but they often traipse out in the middle of a film, so I change channels. As soon as I do, they all reappear and say they haven't finished watching yet! Bloody Barbie! She's starting to get on my nerves!"

But, once he'd calmed down a little, the Englishman did let us into a little secret.

"Well, I suppose it won't hurt to tell you. I do kind of like 'Thumbelina'. She's one of the Twillerbees. They can make plants grow quickly. Anyway, one day Thumbelina makes some wings for her mates, Chrysella and Janessa, but they get trapped by a load of tractors, and hide in some flowers. They end up in the home of spoilt richgirl, Makena (pronounced 'McKenna') whose wealthy parents have plans to redevelop the field where the Twillerbees live, and build a factory on it. Thumbelina is angry with Makena, but eventually gets her to agree to stop the factory being built, if Thumbelina makes her some special things. The moral of the story is, that even the smallest person amongst us can make a difference.
Also, 'Barbie: Spy Squad' and 'Barbie: Dolphin Magic' are quite watchable."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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