Washington DC - According to MacDiner restaurant waitress Ms. Taekin, the town is being invaded by zombies. Little zombies.
“Hordes of baby zombies, too young to crawl, are walking on their legs, eyes glazed over and drooling at the mouth.
“One attacked me, ripping off my bra. Then it fell over on its back and just kept shaking.”
According to Sheriff Opiehoe here, the zombies are comming out of a landfill where abortion clinics dump their trash.
“What may have triggered this is the town dumped all it’s diet soda in the landfill last week after we banned aspartame.”
The local soft drink corporation has not responded to our calls. Neither has the abortion clinic.