Written by Paxton Quigley

Friday, 4 May 2018

image for German Teens Condemn 'unfair' English Exam in Petition
German teens with large jugs drown their sorrows

Grappling with Brexit in one English exam proved too much for more than 30,000 German school students, who are protesting in an online petition. About 31,000 students sat the English exam in the south-west German state of Baden-Württemberg but the petition has collected more than 35,000 signatures. They say the texts they had to analyse were "unfair" - stuffed with jargon and outdated vocabulary.

German student Berndt Haas complained to The Spoof:

"What is it with this cake and eat it? I mean, don't you eat cake? What else do you do with it? Remoaners? Henry VII powers? Geh pissen. As for some of the everyday sayings, raining cats and dogs, what the hell is that?

"The oral exam was bad enough. How do you pronounce though, through, tough and trough? It's completely insane. Scheisse, I don't know why I bothered. I think I'll learn Mandarin Chinese instead."

The region's culture minister, Susanne Eisenmann, said: "I have full confidence that the teachers will exercise their judgement when marking to the fullest degree and responsibly. Only the worst students will get spanked. What are you laughing at?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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