“Perfect” Online Couple Question Their True Compatibility

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

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It was the enigmatic half-smile that Kacey was wearing in her profile photo that first caught Mitch's attention.

It was love at first sight – and first site – for Mitch Hennessy and Kacey Craig when they encountered each other on the dating website Bumble, a first experience for both of them with the world of online dating.

“I could tell she was the one,” said Mitch, regarding the moment he caught a glimpse of Kacey's alluring profile photo. “The expression she had on her face – this little half-smile that made you wonder what she was thinking – well, that was it for me.”

A bit more cautious in matters of the heart, Kacey warned Mitch that he couldn't possibly know yet whether they were in fact, as he vehemently believed, soul-mates. But Mitch wouldn't have any of her hemming and hawing.

“Don't tell me what I know,” was his reply.

Kacey had no good answer for that response. “At that point, I was in,” she recounted. “I could tell he was truly committed.”

Shortly thereafter, the two discovered a shared interest in music.

“Gritty, raw, real,” is the sort of music that Mitch is drawn to. And Kacey, too, enjoys the occasional bluegrass or Americana tune. But it was only when they learned that they were both fans of a little-known folk singer named Bob Dylan that they realized just how deep their connection ran.

“It's about a lot more than looks,” noted Mitch. “I appreciate Kacey for who she is as a person.”

They were considering exchanging phone numbers and moving from communicating on Bumble to actual text messaging, when their “perfect” relationship was suddenly called into question.

“I'm five-foot-nine,” Kacey explained. “Mitch had said he was 'about' five-ten. But it occurred to me that if I was wearing heels, or he was exaggerating his height, we could be in real trouble. I just didn't know what to do.”

In the end, however, she decided to trust in Mitch and give him her phone number. “I believe he really is five-ten,” she said.

“I am,” Mitch confirmed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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