Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 3 May 2018

image for Portland Woman Finds Pumpkin Seeds a Beneficial Addition to Her Diet
Loretta finds pumpkin seeds a really fun food. "They make every day feel like Halloween!"

Interested in improving her health, Loretta Vincent of Portland, Oregon, recently incorporated pumpkin seeds into her diet - and she couldn't be more pleased with the results.

With a wide variety of nutrients ranging from magnesium and manganese to copper, protein and zinc, pumpkin seeds are nutritional powerhouses wrapped up in a very small package, noted Loretta. She pointed out, “They also contain plant compounds known as phytosterols and free-radical scavenging antioxidants, which can give your health an added boost.”

Loretta added that, as they are highly portable and require no refrigeration, pumpkin seeds are incredibly convenient for people on the go. “They make an excellent snack if you're on the road," she suggested, "or they can be used as a quick anytime snack at home, too.”

Loretta says that she is simply delighted with the positive effect that pumpkin seeds have had on her life. "Objectively speaking, I would recommend pumpkin seeds to anyone aiming to boost health and overall quality of life," she stated. "Without a doubt."

Loretta went on to elaborate that in her demanding role as a top executive at Schlitz Seasoned Snack Seeds, she needs to be on her A-game all the time. "Pumpkin seeds help me do that."

“They're also extremely tasty - a really fun food," she remarked with a grin. "In a way, they make every day feel like Halloween!”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
57 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more