University student fees are horrendously expensive in the UK and, many students find themselves, after leaving university, in impoverished situations because they can't get a decent job.
Well is it a wonder after reading the latest nonsensical study that was released by one of the most prestigious uni's in the world; "Long legged men are sexier than their stumpy legged counterparts!"
Now Jaggedone possesses medium sized stumps, and is damn sexy, so he sent his stumpy-legged, star CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) sex-mad, reporter, Divine Blow-Job, over to Cambridge to find out why the fuck the university wastes student's precious time studying 'Potential Daddies Long-legs' (non-arachnologist type) and here are Divine's findings:
Divine to female student; "is it true you find men with long legs sexier than the stumpy version?" Answer; "Bullshit, I look at their noses and if they have long protruding noses, I'll give em a bonk!"
Divine to dwarf male student; "Sir, do you feel having stumpy legs is a disadvantage in bed whilst bonking?" Answer; "Mate, if only you knew how the girls love it when we're having a '69er' and they haven't got a pair of knocked, hairy knees, banging in their face, yee hah!"
Divine to long-legged, 85 year-old male University professor, who set the study; "Sir, do you really believe having long-legs makes you sexier?" Answer; "Well, in the old days my long skinny legs certainly got some sexy comments I believe, like, 'hey, prof, what's life like always walking on a pair of stilts? Is that sexy? Nowadays, students don't care because all they want is booze, bonk and a rich daddy (no long legs) to pay their fees!"
So, there you have it, as we all know, university life is full of sex, drugs and rock and roll, with stumpy legs or long legs, who gives a damn!