Bird Shit On Man's Head

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 7 May 2018


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It's good luck when a bird shits on your head

A man taking a relaxing stroll along a public footpath at a local golf course in Hull on Saturday evening, received the shock of his adult life when, from a height of approximately 10 metres, a bird shit on his bonce.

The man, Moys Kenwood, was walking on the well-trodden track that forms the border of the 13th fairway at the Royal Springhead golf course in the city, and minding his own business, but this didn't seem to matter to one bird which swooped low and delivered its payload with stunning precision.

The bird must have been unwell, for the result was expansive. Atop Kenwood's head, a congealed white mess with a shot of black sat proudly, whilst a stream ran down onto his forehead, over his nose, lips and chin, and down his jacket. His shoes were 'spattered'.

Although the impact caused no injury, it did give Kenwood a shock. Then, however, he remembered that a bird shitting on you - and especially on your head - is supposed to bring good luck, so he started putting together a list of six numbers to do next week's National Lottery. will keep its readers updated on this story.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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