Area Man Doesn’t Know What Bitcoin or Meek Mill is

Funny story written by Dave Henry

Thursday, 17 May 2018

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In a wide-ranging interview at his son’s lacrosse practice, an area man discussed things he has no idea about, like bitcoin.

“I have no idea what bitcoin is or why people talk about it,” he said. “I’m a 50- year old man and it’s just something I don’t even care to learn about. I also don’t know what cryptocurrency is. I think it’s some kind of money, but I don’t know how it works and I’m afraid to ask someone.”

He also said he doesn’t know who Meek Mill is or why people like Bob Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, are concerned with him.

“There’s been a lot said and written about Meek Mill. I’m sure Kraft and everyone else involved has a very good reason to be concerned about Meek Mill, I just don’t know why and it’s not information I’m planning to seek out,” the man added.

The man said he only has so much room in his brain for information, so he is selective about what he lets in, because that means he must let something else out.

“If you were to put me on a psychiatrists’ couch, you’d probably wonder why I have held on to trivial information all these years about things like sitcoms. I know way too much about TV shows from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, even obscure ones like Carter Country, Working Stiffs, and Amen. I should cycle this information out and make room for other stuff, but I probably won’t because it gives me comfort,” he explained.

He added that he doesn’t know the difference between a psychiatrist and psychologist.

“I know they mean sort of the same thing, but I don’t know the difference and I won’t find out. I’ll probably just keep referencing them in the wrong way until someone points it out to me,” he continued.

He also admitted to not knowing what fibromyalgia is.

“I love saying fibromyalgia, it’s a cool sounding word, but I don’t know what it means. I gather it’s some sort of disease, but that’s as far as I’m prepared to know about it – unless I get the disease,” he said, chuckling.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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