WARNING: THIS STORY IS DESIGNATED TOP SECRET: It was found hidden in the socks of Valerie Jarrett as she was leaving the National Archives.
BILLINGSGATE POST (Dateline March 25, 2012)
From the ramparts of Observation Point Ouellette, the closest point to the Demilitarized Zone that separates South Korea from North Korea, Barack Hussein Obama peered through his binoculars at the windswept no-man's land that was the counterpoint of the teeming, prosperous Seoul, just 25 miles away.
Wearing a brown leather jacket with jodhpur riding breeches tucked into his knee-high boots, he looked like a black George S. Patton as he stood in an open bunker and chatted with US and South Korean senior officers.
With North Korea being the Stalinist remnant of the Cold War, Obama observed that, "It was like looking across 50 years into a country that has everything, free medical care, thin, healthy boys and girls who don't eat Big Macs and french fries every day, and citizens who never complain about trillion dollar deficits; I like it!"
From his observation point, he turned to his left, and looked out across bare fields to a huge North Korean flag--flying at half mast to remember late leader Kim Jung Il, who died in December after shooting the lowest score ever recorded on a Par 72 golf course. Posting a unbelievable 34 on the Pyongyang Country Club links, he threw his clubs into the river and vowed never to play this capitalistic game again, because it was no challenge and could possibly create "worker's delusion."
Later, Obama shared his observations with reporters as he held a joint press conference with South Korea's President Lee Myung-Bak. Referring to South Korea, he seemed unable to process the logic of three generations of prosperity. He seemed unable to identify with a country that balanced its budget and actually exported more goods than it imported.
"If a country can feed its people effectively without food stamps, I ask you, what good is its central government? You would think that you would try something different, like your neighbor to the north."
Speaking directly to President Lee Myung-Bak, he said, "There are certain things that don't work and what you are doing doesn't work."
NOTE: This story was surreptiously pilfered from the hidden vaults of the National Archives by Valerie Jarrett and can only be published with or without the express permission of Dr. Billingsgate who authored this story.