Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 11 May 2018

image for Girl Had Face Full Of Zits
Kenwood relives the horror

A man has told of a frightening incident in the Battambang commune of Tapon, in which he came face-to-face with a girl who had a face "full of zits".

Moys Kenwood, 54, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, was at home eating his tea at around 7pm last night, when, out of the blue, everything went black.

It was a power cut.

The lights went out, and the fan stopped circulating the warm air, and Kenwood sat in the dark with a piece of fish, patiently waiting to be devoured, dangling from his fork. The seconds passed. After a few minutes of inactivity, the Englishman got to his feet and made his way to the front door of the glass-fronted property, and looked outside into the darkness.

It was then that he received a terrible shock.

As suddenly as the power had gone off, it came back on! Kenwood, standing with his face up against the glass of the door, became aware of a presence at the other side of the glass peering back at him - a girl with a face full of zits. In terror, he covered his face with his hands to try to block out the image, but when he took his hands away, the girl and her zits had disappeared. Then she reappeared, a few feet away. Kenwood:

"It was awful. I was frightened. I don't like being left on my own in the dark at the best of times, but when the power was restored, the first thing I saw was a mountain of puss on human shoulders. Apparently, it was a woman from down the road who was returning some eggs she'd borrowed from my wife. I nearly filled my pants."

Kenwood accepted the eggs, but not the paper bag they were in.

"She needed it more than we did", he said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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