Bitcoin Volatility Won't Put Me Off, Says Moron

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

image for Bitcoin Volatility Won't Put Me Off, Says Moron

The spectacular crash of the Bitcoin cryptocurrency early this week shook the financial world to its roots, but not all 'investors' were crying in their beer.

Arnold Blimp, an 'amateur speculator', first became interested in Bitcoin when it was first released in 2009, when the value of the unit was US$0.30. Since then, its value has risen steadily, and then fallen back again, only to recover once more, and to soar to new dizzy heights.

Early last week, Bitcoin was at a then-high of US$8,221, then the currency dropped back to US$7,403 by Friday, spectacularly collapsing to US$1,348 on Tuesday of this week, before staging a surging recovery to US$8,373 this morning.

More volatility is expected in the coming weeks.

Blimp, 48, who does not own a single Bitcoin, but pretends he does, using plastic Tiddlywinks counters piled up in his bedroom at his mum's house, told a passenger sitting next to him, on a bus I was on:

"Participation requires a combination of manual dexterity and strategic thought, as well as a shrewd tactical ability. Anticipation is a key factor, as is a perceptive and acute awareness of your opponent's winks."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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