English to be Added to American Ballots
Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced in a special press conference today that Donald Trump has resolved the ballot language issue with Russian President Vladimir Putin. After months of negotiations and bribery Putin has agreed to add to American election...
Read full storyWile E Mueller Takes Direct Hit To Head: ACME Anvil Stock Up 120 Percent
BILLINGSGATE POST: Somewhere in the Sonoran Desert, just South of East Jesus, a campfire twickers in the early dusk. And the languid cowboy, Slim Everdingle, limply strums a melancholy tune on his Gibson guitar celebrating the turn of events that be...
Read full storyMother of Two Wants to Recall Her Eggs
Seattle, Wa - A mother of two was so disappointed with her children that she wanted to recall her eggs. “They just didn’t turn out the way I had hoped,” she confided, after neither child called her for Mothers Day. “All I got was a text from my...
Read full storyTop Ten Reasons Why Kim Jong Un Desperately Wants to Make a Deal with the U. S.
He needs a decent shampoo, rinse, and cut from Vidal Sassoon. He wants Stormy Daniels’ phone number. He wants to be let loose carte blanche in the M&M anchor store in New York City, ending in a candy bath of M&M Reds. He wants his scientists to examine Nancy Pelosi –it’s an ancient Korean cultural practice dealing with living mummification. He’s out of nuclear warheads anyway, cuz Godz...
Read full story