Man Attacked By Ducklings

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

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Appearances can be deceptive

Residents in the Battambang commune of Tapon are on high-alert this evening after a local man claimed he was attacked by ducklings.

The incident is alleged to have taken place just before teatime in the back garden of Moys Kenwood, who told neighbors that "at least 20" ducklings had taken part in the attack after he had tried to usher them back into a small compound where his wife keeps her ducks. He said:

"It was completely unprovoked. I was just doing my job. They encircled me, and closed in. I was very frightened. There was real menace in their eyes. To make good my escape, I had to hurdle them."

There were no eyewitnesses to the 'attack', but several local people said they heard 'a crescendo of cheeping', giving rise to mounting speculation that there may have been at least a grain of truth in the story.

Kenwood went on:

"They may only be ducklings, but appearances can be deceptive. I recently watched Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds', and am familiar with how unpredictable their behavior can be."

Someone who said he once knew a policeman warned residents to be on their guard against ducklings, and to avoid approaching them if they looked in any way menacing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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