Nashville Man Comes Up with Solid Life Plan

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 17 May 2018

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According to Bart, the details aren't as important as simply having a plan. "Nothing beats the purpose-driven life."

After decades of career confusion, soul-searching, and personal reflection, Nashville man Bart Biggs came up with a solid plan for his future, on which he's determined to follow through.

“Most people's trouble,” explained Bart, “is that they go through life without a plan. Hell, I myself tried that for years," he acknowledged abashedly. “And it didn't work out too well.”

But no longer, Bart has vowed. “Living an intentional life is what it's all about. At least for me.”

As a result, says Bart, he'll no longer be doing things – like snorting a bunch of coke at a party – on the spur of the moment.

“It's not that I can't still do that stuff,” he clarified. “It's totally fine. It just won't be spontaneous, is all - I'll think it through first.”

Bart says he's thrilled at the newfound sense of purpose that he's felt upon awakening these past two-and-a-half days, since he came up with his life plan.

“I'd always heard the expression 'the purpose-driven life,'” noted Bart, "but before, it was just words. Now it really means something. I have a new spark, a passion, a zest for life. It's a high you can't get from drugs.”

“And believe me, I would know," he added.

So what, exactly, is Bart's new life plan?

According to Bart, the details don't matter so much as simply having a plan. In Bart's case, he plans to come up with a really solid life plan – and what plan could possibly be more solid than that?

“For the life of me,” lamented Bart, “I can't understand why people come up with less-than-solid plans. I mean, I don't like to judge anyone unless I've walked a mile in his shoes. But that's something I just don't get.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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