Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 26 May 2018

image for Man Furious Over Burnt Corn Flakes
No tablecloth at the Kenwoods'!

A man eating his breakfast cereal was up in arms this morning after finding two burnt Corn Flakes in his bowl for the second day in succession.

Moys Kenwood, 54, revealed how he opened a brand new box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes yesterday morning, and was immediately greeted by the appalling sight of an unappetising black flake which, he said:

"stuck out like a sore thumb."

After throwing this 'impostor' out of his window, he tucked into his cereal, only to encounter another black flake, which he also removed, and threw away.

This morning, however, things started to turn ugly. On filling his bowl, he noticed not one, but TWO flakes that he deemed inedible, and he flew not only into a rage, but also 'off the handle':

"This really takes the biscuit! It's unacceptable! I've been eating Corn Flakes since I was a boy, but things have really come to a head now! I'm sick of finding the charred remains of what used to be flakes of corn in my bowl, and I think I've reached the limits of my tolerance over this. I shall be writing to Kellogg's to tell them how I feel."

He then went outside to find the evidence from yesterday.

Kellogg's of Battle Creek have been producing their Corn Flakes for more than 100 years, and are one of the most popular breakfast cereals on the planet. They were forced to make 17 staff in customer service redundant last year, due to the fact that they received so few complaints. But Kenwood was adamant:

"I am a patient man, but this is the final straw. I don't think they realise just who they're dealing with."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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