Ivana Phuque Paired with Adam Lambert in Olympic Ice Dancing Finale!

Funny story: Ivana Phuque Paired with Adam Lambert in Olympic Ice Dancing Finale!

The skating world was holding their collective breaths today with the announcement that Ice skating phenom Ivana Phuque and American Idol Adam Lambert were stepping out of their respective personas to appear as the final act at the Olympics to celeb...

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American Idol Flash: Adam Lambert Named 2009 Winner After Arkansas Voting Irregularity Found

Funny story: American Idol Flash: Adam Lambert Named 2009 Winner After Arkansas Voting Irregularity Found

HOLLYWOOD - The reality television voter tabulating agency known as Voters Vote Auditors of America (VVAA) has just informed the F Network that last years American Idol vote tally was off, way off. Last year out of 700 TV critics that followed the...

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Celebrity Marriage Collpase Horror; Peter Andre rubs hands together; John Terry just rubs

Funny story: Celebrity Marriage Collpase Horror; Peter Andre rubs hands together; John Terry just rubs

In a move that has surprised absolutely nobody, Girls Aloud "celebrity" wife Cheryl "he's like a brother to me" Cole is set to divorce her trophy husband Ashley Cole. Cole made the announcement recently, after much speculation that her husband had...

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The Mother-in-Law From Hell Broke Ashley Cole

Funny story: The Mother-in-Law From Hell Broke Ashley Cole

London - (Prenup Mess): Having his mother-in-law on his back and on his case 24/7 virtually killed off all Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole's nuptial manhood. Cheryl's mother Joan moved into the matrimonial home in 2008 in what must be the Premiersh...

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Bully Helping Line "contacted by Al-Qaeda staff"

Funny story: Bully Helping Line "contacted by Al-Qaeda staff"

In an exclusive interview today, the UK Bully Helping Line revealed that the organisation had received calls and emails from staff working in the Al-Qaeda HQ. "We have had three or four mails", said the Helping Line's Intestina Harradin. One rev...

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Lucian Fraud: Kray twins 'constantly up my arse' for money

Funny story: Lucian Fraud: Kray twins 'constantly up my arse' for money

London - (Post-Impressionist Mess): Britain's national treasure and renowned living artist Lucian Fraud (sic) has said gangland mobsters the Kray Twins hounded him for money. "Each time I went for a dump they thought I must be shitting gold bricks...

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Braless Swedish Olympic Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Sets World Record By A Nipple

Funny story: Braless Swedish Olympic Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Sets World Record By A Nipple

The 250 meter women's speed skating race was decided at the wire... by lack of an underwire. Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque won the race at the Vancouver Winter Games by a nipple, because she was racing braless. Official event judge Luther Steinma...

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Jesus weeps and Madonna "bares her cross" tatooed on her bum!

Funny story: Jesus weeps and Madonna "bares her cross" tatooed on her bum!

Jesus has decided to take over Madonna's role and has apparently been seen weeping in Rio De Janiero. As far as we know Jesus was entertaining Samba dancers when someone threw beer at him causing his eyes to water. The tears came flowing down his...

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Ivana Phuque Y Las Pendulario Mammarias

Funny story: Ivana Phuque Y Las Pendulario Mammarias

Bono Tardes - Esta dia, nous parlez boxing y boobattas de las pendulario mammarias del Fraulein Ivana Phuque, las plus grandes pendulario mammarias en el mundo virtuoso. Dov es las pendulario boom-boom bouncy ballon playa cojones del Ivana Phuque? Sur la chesta del schnell skatre plus vite el uno y solo horchata leche shakira, Ivana Phuque. Las Pendularios originalemente arrive courtesio...

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Kelly Osbourne (who?) would rather be a skinny Junkie than a fat Miss Piggy!

Funny story: Kelly Osbourne (who?) would rather be a skinny Junkie than a fat Miss Piggy!

Talented? famous? super-brat daughter of that other infamous tatooed Alco/Junk, Ozzy Osbourne, has admitted to the world that she would rather be a Junkie than look like Miss Piggy! Actually, her only claim to fame is being the daughter of an anci...

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Subo culture leader praise as expats trap traitor

Funny story: Subo culture leader praise as expats trap traitor

The McLuz was called to the home of Miss Boyle urgently this afternoon. Her expat volunteers, A-M and notbannedfan, as they diligently unravelled red scarves and watched catch ups of Coronation Street, became aware on the newly installed security mon...

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Gordon Brown "OK I admit it, Alistair and I are in love."

Funny story: Gordon Brown "OK I admit it, Alistair and I are in love."

The Prime Minister today admitted that he and Alistair (his darling) Darling had fallen deeply in love. Mr Brown revealed "On Wednesday morning I was spitting blood.I called the Chancellor into my office to give him the biggest bollocking of his l...

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The Vancouver Vixen, Ivana Phuque Agreeds To Skate On "Dancing On Ice" Next Season

Funny story: The Vancouver Vixen, Ivana Phuque Agreeds To Skate On "Dancing On Ice" Next Season

LONDON - The producer of the highly popular British Reality Show, Dancing On Ice, Burgess Willowhouse is thrilled to announce that he has just signed the tremendously popular Swedish speed skater Ivana Phuque to appear on next season's edition of Dan...

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Osama Bin Laden Hosts New TV Practical Jokes Show From Cave

Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Hosts New TV Practical Jokes Show From Cave

Osama's Practical Jokes appears on PBS after a feed from the Al-Jazero TV folks. While the critics are still out on this one, we thought the new reality show was very funny. In the first segment, Osama slipped some Mexican Farknockers in his...

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Robert Pattinson Arrested For Indecent Exposure!

Funny story: Robert Pattinson Arrested For Indecent Exposure!

Hollywood star Robert Pattinson was at the wrong place at the wrong time last night and wound up calling a friend to come down to the police station where he was seated in front of the police sergeant's desk. "At least I didn't have to go into a c...

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Ivana Phuque - Don't Stop Me Now!

Funny story: Ivana Phuque - Don't Stop Me Now!

The parents of Swedish speed-skating sensation Ivana Phuque have made a formal request to the world's media to give their large breasted medal winning offspring a break, because they fear that over exposure of her breasts - sorry, best performances -...

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Michael Jackson's Final Autopsy Released

Funny story: Michael Jackson's Final Autopsy Released

The final coroner's report in the death of Michael Jackson was released Saturday and reveals several new details about the King of Pop's death. The autopsy revealed that Jackson had tattooed eyebrows and that he was nearly bald, having a long wig...

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Ivana Phuque Announces Shock Retirement

Funny story: Ivana Phuque Announces Shock Retirement

Ivana Phuque has announced that she will cease to compete after these Winter Olympics are over. The Swedish speed skater, famed for her long, blonde hair and massive breasts has decided that she no longer wishes to put her body through the grueling t...

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President Obama Appoints Nancy Pelosi Ambassador to Sweden

Funny story: President Obama Appoints Nancy Pelosi Ambassador to Sweden

Washington DC: President Obama held his Health Care Reform Summit at the Blair House. At the same time the Winter Olympics speed skating competition was being held in Vancouver Canada. Democratic House Speaker Pelosi was her same old stubborn sel...

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Ashley Cole Texted Ivana Phuque - Latest

Funny story: Ashley Cole Texted Ivana Phuque - Latest

Reports are coming in that crocked serial philanderer Ashley Cole has been sending explicit text messages to Swedish speed-skating sensation Ivana Phuque after seeing her on TV From what we have been able to ascertain, there is no evidence to sugg...

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Ivana Phuque Takes Time Out With Roman Polanski

Funny story: Ivana Phuque Takes Time Out With Roman Polanski

Fourteen year old Swedish speed-skating sensation Ivana Phuque, apparently a little bewildered by all the media attention being lavished on her ample breasted person, has been invited to take a little time out at movie director Roman Polanski's Swiss...

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Subo culture course leader on war footing

The McLuz at her HQ in Blackburn Library has received an urgent secret intelligence report from an unnamed source. As a result she has placed her team on high alert. The report confirms her suspicions that the Happy and Clappy ARRAS (Always Red Ro...

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Gordon Brown "No More Mr Nice Guy" - Election Policies Revealed

Gordon Brown signaled the beginning of his General Election campaign by declaring "No more Mr Nice Guy". The Prime Minister promised new hard-line policies for a new tougher Britain. I can reveal these policies exclusively: The closing of the Channel Tunnel. Gordon Brown says "I've never liked the Frogs. That Sarkozy is a sawn off little garlic eating monkey." Compulsory serving of gruel...

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American Idol: Kara DioGuardi Goes Ga-Ga and Goo-Goo Over Casey "The Singin' Cowboy" James

Funny story: American Idol: Kara DioGuardi Goes Ga-Ga and Goo-Goo Over Casey "The Singin' Cowboy" James

HOLLYWOOD - The final 12 American Idol males took the stage and after all of the dust had cleared the only one standing was Fort Worth native Casey James. Even the early odds-on-favorite Andrew Garcia disappointed judge Simon "The Royal Rude Dude"...

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Ivana Phuque Booked For Extended Ice Folly Show at The New Oasis Bar!

Funny story: Ivana Phuque Booked For Extended Ice Folly Show at The New Oasis Bar!

Ivana, the generously endowed 'SWEDE SPEEDY' building on her Olympic Success, announced her retirement from amateur events, and signed her first truly professional contract with Management at "The New Oasis Bar & Grill', the UK's most popular T...

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Ashley Cole Fling With Ivana Phuque

Funny story: Ashley Cole Fling With Ivana Phuque

Ashley Cole is rumoured to have turned to blonde Swedish speed skater Ivana Phuque when his marriage began to get him down. The Chelsea and England left back probably sobbed as he might have said: "I needed a shoulder-and a big pair of breasts-to...

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Olympic Gold Medals Bad for America says Dick Cheney

Former Vice-President Dick Cheney issued a press release today declaring that winning gold medals at the 2010 Olympics is "not a good thing for America." "Winning these medals in Canada is doing nothing but cheering up our people and making them s...

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Pennsylvania Reporter Arrested For Trying To "Cop A Feel" of Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque

Funny story: Pennsylvania Reporter Arrested For Trying To "Cop A Feel" of Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque

Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque was leaving the medal podium, after winning a Gold in women's figure skating, and heading down a crowded hall when she felt someone grab her breasts. The Vancouver Winter Games athlete quickly spun around to see who it...

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Donald Trump Admits Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Is Hotter Than Ivana Trump

The Swedish Olympian, Ivana Phuque, has been the darling of the Vancouver Winter Games. This skating beauty has captured the hearts of more than athletes and fans around the world. She has now grabbed the attention of "The Donald." From his Trum...

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SuBo CD 'hidden message' shocker!

Funny story: SuBo CD 'hidden message' shocker!

Susan Boyle fanatics were last night crying into their lemonade, when a hidden message was found on her CD. Playing track 3 backwards reveals Susan saying "I never really liked Piers Morgan at all. I was just having a laugh!" Fanatics were giving...

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Italy's Silvio Berlusconi , Seeking Re Erection, Picks Exotic Dancer for Ticket!

Funny story: Italy's Silvio Berlusconi , Seeking Re Erection, Picks Exotic Dancer for Ticket!

Mirroring the dysfunctional Italian Government,, the country's Prime Minister, as if to taunt Gordon Brown, shows he still has an eye for the women, picking a former exotic entertainer to join his ticket. Silvio Berlusconi, Person in Power (PIP) o...

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Sweden's Sexy Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Admits She Dated Tiger Woods But Swears It Was Platonic

Funny story: Sweden's Sexy Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Admits She Dated Tiger Woods But Swears It Was Platonic

VANCOUVER - One of the most popular speed skaters in the history of the Winter Olympics, Ivana Phuque from Sweden has admitted that she did in fact date Tiger Woods during the summer of 2009. The director of Public Relations Governing and Steering...

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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Meets Super Hero Banana Boy At Vancouver Nightclub

Funny story: Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Meets Super Hero Banana Boy At Vancouver Nightclub

Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque has become the darling of the Vancouver Winter Games. The blonde skater has been universally adored for her beauty and her body by athletes and fans around the world. Her liasons and hook ups have also become fodder fo...

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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Invited To Party On Yacht Of World's Most Interesting Man

Funny story: Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Invited To Party On Yacht Of World's Most Interesting Man

Ivana Phuque, the Swedish Olympic Team's answer to Viagra, has captivated the hearts and loins of men around the world. The figure skater, who became famous for her spins, jumps, and leaps performed without panties, bloomers, or leotards underneath,...

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"Ivana Phuque's Breasts Gave Her An Unfair Advantage" Say Canadians

Funny story: "Ivana Phuque's Breasts Gave Her An Unfair Advantage" Say Canadians

Canada's female speed skaters have claimed that Sweden's Ivana Phuque, winner of four gold medals, had an unfair advantage. Canadian team coach Mary Winkiewiper said "Let's just say that her equipment looked like it had been enhanced. Her breasts wer...

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Smash Hits... sorry NME award results in full

Funny story: Smash Hits... sorry NME award results in full

Here's the full of results of the Shitwaves NME Awards 2010 Best British 3 Piece Band From Teignmouth - Muse Only Festival That We Could Think Of - Glastonbury Best New Band Who We Don't Know Much About But Have Quite A Cool Name Anyway - Bombay Bicycle Club Best Old Band Who Released A Compilation Album Last Year And We're Only Giving An Award To Because Madness Couldn't Be Bothered...

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Reports Reveal Dalai Lama Met With Former Golf Caddy Carl Spackler When In United States

Funny story: Reports Reveal Dalai Lama Met With Former Golf Caddy Carl Spackler When In United States

The Dalai Lama took time out from his Presidential Visit to the United States to meet with a golf caddy, according to uncomfimed reports. Carl Spackler, a groundskeeper at the Bushwood Country Club, says that the Lama always sees him when he comes h...

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Olympian Ivana Phuque To Allow Cameras In Salon When She Has Brazilian Wax

Funny story: Olympian Ivana Phuque To Allow Cameras In Salon When She Has Brazilian Wax

Swedish figure skater Ivana Phuque has become the darling of the Vancouver Winter Olympics, with her every move covered by camera crews from all over the world. The blonde bombshell, who has become famous for her performances without leotards or pan...

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Mandelson to meet Illuminati to decide who wins next General Election

Funny story: Mandelson to meet Illuminati to decide who wins next General Election

Lord Mandelson the most senior Illuminati member in politics in the UK is to go to a secret Illuminati meeting where it will be decided who is going to win the next General Election. Now you may think that the UK is a Democracy surely the people w...

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Tyson Will Fight Again

Funny story: Tyson Will Fight Again

Confirmation that former world heavyweight champion, and convicted rapist, Mike Tyson is to stage a sensational fight comeback has been aired on live TV this morning. In an interview with Harry Carpenter Jnr, of SkySpots, he said, "People who thin...

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Heroic Cat awarded Victoria Cross for Bravery

Funny story: Heroic Cat awarded Victoria Cross for Bravery

An eight year old tabby cat from Wootten Bassett has today been awarded the animal equivalent of the Victoria Cross for his heroic work in Afghanistan. Scratcher the cat was presented with his medal by his owner Gladys Francis in an emotional cere...

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UK Bully Helping Line CEO calls herself for advice

Intestina Harradin, CEO of the troubled UK Bully Helping Line, told reporters today that she had recently received a call from herself. In an earlier press statement she said she indicated that she had been let down by the charity's patrons, comp...

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In the biscuit barrel today the Ginger Nut

Funny story: In the biscuit barrel today the Ginger Nut

The ginger nut. Who would have thought that this innocent looking morsel could have helped to bring down the greatest empire known to mankind. Gingiber Lamnia was a condition which affected wealthy young men in Rome. The main symptom was a red, itchy patch around the genitals. If untreated it could lead to insanity and possible death. In occupied Gaul the medical condition was openly mocked...

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Nature. Watch out!

Funny story: Nature. Watch out!

Spring came early to Windermere this year when a pod of killer whales was spotted worrying a local rower. "I was walking Margaret, that's my dog - my wife's name is Hilda - along the towpath when I heard them singing," enthused keen naturist Richa...

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Was McQueen depressed because his frocks were rubbish?

Funny story: Was McQueen depressed because his frocks were rubbish?

London - (RIP Mess): Swathed in a navy blue dyed Alsatian fur wrap supermodel Kate Moss was the first to arrive at Alexander McQueen's funeral in Knightsbridge today. The 40 year-old dress designer was found hanging in his wardrobe two weeks ago n...

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Cryogenics Company to sue Michael Jackson Doctor

Funny story: Cryogenics Company to sue Michael Jackson Doctor

A cryogenics company, who lost out on being paid millions to freeze the King of Pop's corpse, are set to sue Conrad Murray who is alleged to have murdered Michael Jackson. The Cryogenics company, that cannot be named at this stage for Legal reaso...

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Succubus whoremoans (sic) blamed in hexed Chelsea FC locker room exorcism

Funny story: Succubus whoremoans (sic) blamed in hexed Chelsea FC locker room exorcism

London - (Offside Mess): Have a fiendish she-devil's pheromones cursed the brains of Chelsea Football Club players? Management was forced to call in FA 'ghostbusters' after a spectral apparition was seen in the players' steam-room. Cackling hor...

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Swedish Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Wins Gold, Fails DNA Gender Testing, Leaves Her with Balls In an Uproar!

Funny story: Swedish Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Wins Gold, Fails DNA Gender Testing, Leaves Her with Balls In an Uproar!

The Winter Olympic Games were ensnared in more controversy today after odds on favourite Swede speed skater Ivana Phuque was found out to actually be Elin Nordegren's adopted brother, Ivan Phugue Nordegren! The revelation occurred after Drug and D...

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Susan Boyle "appears" to devotee via traffic light

Funny story: Susan Boyle "appears" to devotee via traffic light

A Susan Boyle fan posting on the Greatest Only-est Online Susa-show on Earth (GOOSE) excitedly announced the sighting of SuBo's image in the glowing red orb of a stop light. "I was waiting in traffic, during the afternoon rush hour, listening to '...

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Forced Old Age Increasing Says Charity

Funny story: Forced Old Age Increasing Says Charity

Age Concern says that the number of people getting older is on the increase with some becoming infirm, gibbering wrecks against their wishes. The number of people who have started wearing cardigans and sensible shoes has risen by over 50 % the report...

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Vision Impaired Politicians PM Brown and NY Gov. Paterson Snared in Continuing Allegations of Bullying!

Funny story: Vision Impaired Politicians PM Brown and NY Gov. Paterson Snared in Continuing Allegations of Bullying!

Psychologists studying the idiot behaviour of both PM Gordon Brown, and New York Governor David Paterson have concluded that besides both being visually impaired, they seem to have much deeper rooted handicaps lodged into their psyche and more com...

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Bent Bananas only is the new EU Rule

Funny story: Bent Bananas only is the new EU Rule

Shops throughout Europe have been banned from selling straight or nearly straight bananas the bananas according to the EU ruling have got to be totally bent or they are to be discarded. Its incredible that they are going to stop shops selling perf...

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Bridge Pulls Out - Pity Terry Never Did

Funny story: Bridge Pulls Out - Pity Terry Never Did

Wayne Bridge has pulled out! The left back says he does not want to shoot and he has opted for spilling it on the City of Manchester turf. "I don't want sloppy seconds. Ashley Cole, John Terry, all the others, they've all got stuck in before me. The...

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Dancing on Ice Judge to be replaced

Funny story: Dancing on Ice Judge to be replaced

Bosses on the hit ITV programme Dancing on Ice are set to replace acid tongued Australian judge Jason Gardiner with his esteemed Holiness the Dalai Lama. Gardiner recently caused uproar by comparing the costume worn by Sharron Davies to "faecal m...

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Skoob Caught Up in "Correctness" Controversy after Saying Co-Host Erin Andrews Looks Better with Her Clothes On Than naked!

Funny story: Skoob Caught Up in "Correctness" Controversy after Saying Co-Host Erin Andrews Looks Better with Her Clothes On Than naked!

More shocking controversy today as yet another sports presenter has been benched for making unflattering remarks about female colleague's on air attire. The suspension of popular, but balding, ESPN 'Pardon the Interruption' host Tony Kornheiser...

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The trouble with Scotland is it's full of sheep

Funny story: The trouble with Scotland is it's full of sheep

Scottish Nationalist James Douglas has completed an investigation into the highland clearances which was one of the worst periods in Scotland's history when hundreds of thousands of Scots were kicked off their land and sent overseas to America, Canad...

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Ivana Phuque Opens Her Legs And Shows Her Class

Funny story: Ivana Phuque Opens Her Legs And Shows Her Class

Swedish speed skater and heroine of the Winter Olympics, Ivana Phuque has shown her true class in Vancouver. With an adoring army of fans cheering her on Phuque appeared in her most revealing outfit yet. The shapely 38-27-38 star of the ice wore b...

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Subo culture course leaders visit Miss Boyle's home

Following a successful first meeting to discuss Miss Boyle's role in the BA in subo culture course, the Scottish spinster invited the McLuz back to her quaint home in Blackburn, West Lothian. They were joined by McQueen of Skye, who reportedly could...

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SuBo to Quit the Stage?

Rumours abound that Susan's performance in Japan on the 1st April will be her last. The singer has decided to call it quits. She will allegedly thank her fans for their undying love and support and it is with regret that she has decided to step do...

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Killer Whale Called Gordon Attacks Trainer Called Tony

Funny story: Killer Whale Called Gordon Attacks Trainer Called Tony

A killer whale called Gordon has attacked his trainer at Westminster's Seaworld. The trainer was dragged down to the very depths, just like everyone else in the country. There are rumours that Gordon had been threatening to attack for some time. G...

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Gordon Ramsay tries to chop off fingers after reading about origins of the famous V sign

Funny story: Gordon Ramsay tries to chop off fingers after reading about origins of the famous V sign

Gordon Ramsay tried to chop off his fingers on a live cookery demonstration on a television programme in the USA. He had just finished telling the programmes host Ellen DeGeneres how to use knives safely when he appeared to actually try to chop of...

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Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Says "I Just Love Your British Helmets!"

Funny story: Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Says "I Just Love Your British Helmets!"

Swedish Olympic speed skater Ivana Phuque has entered the skeleton helmet argument by admitting that she "just loves British helmets." Phuque, arguably the most popular athlete in the Olympic village, said "To be honest, I just can't get enough of yo...

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Mafia Money being seized by Illuminati

Funny story: Mafia Money being seized by Illuminati

The Mafia's money is being seized by the Illuminati as the New World Order continue their campaign to take money off every organisation that is not Illuminati controlled. Police in Sicily have seized Mafia assets totalling 1.6 Billion Euros and in...

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It's the Final They All Wanted!

Funny story: It's the Final They All Wanted!

The speedskating Women's 800 m final will be between Sweden's Ivana Phuque and Russia's Voga Olga. Both came through tough semi finals yesterday. Ivana Phuque beat France's Ophelia Tits by a short head and Volga Olga squeezed out Australia's Haiey M...

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Elephant sinks in swimming pool

Funny story: Elephant sinks in swimming pool

Well here it is, believe or not, an elephant has sunk in a local swimming pool in the Beverly Hills suburb near Los Angeles. The elephant displayed some odd behavior, including eating some chocolate, but refusing to eat a "nice, healthy salad."...

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Obama with a Chinese Kid

Funny story: Obama with a Chinese Kid

U.S. President Barack Obama recently met with Chinese officials, and met, a Chinese boy. The boy was shy, and all he could manage to say was, "My name is Yu." Obama did not understand it was a "real" name, so Obama said, "What do you mean,...

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Adam Lambert with SuBo?

Funny story: Adam Lambert with SuBo?

Adam Lambert, the gay singing star, has recently been spotted sporting a diamond ring, apparently bought by the singing sensation, Susan Boyle. Lambert, a gay, said he wanted to be a "straight," but will keep his piercings. Susan Boyle was...

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Frosty the Snowman reborn in Glasgow after snow returns

Funny story: Frosty the Snowman reborn in Glasgow after snow returns

Frosty the Snowman was reborn in Glasgow last night after a heavy snowfall. Frosty was delighted to be back he said "I live more life's now because of Global Freezing its great, its still hard to believe that people still believe this Global warming...

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Jeremy Kyle Hosts TV First

Funny story: Jeremy Kyle Hosts TV First

In a press conference earlier today it was revealed that voters will be given a chance to see the three main political party leaders debate live on TV next month, ahead of the long overdue General Election. The recently appointed Popularity Tsar,...

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Irishman wants to know how British passports were used in Mossad Murder

Funny story: Irishman wants to know how British passports were used in Mossad Murder

Irishman Cillian Murphy known to his friends as Silly wants to know how British Passports were used in the murder in Dubai last month of a top Hamas member. Al Mahmud a founder of Hamas was found dead in his hotel room on January 20th this year. L...

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No culture of bullying says New Labour

Funny story: No culture of bullying says New Labour

Following from allegations over the weekend that calls were made to an anti-bullying help-line from workers at Number 10, the Labour government has been quick to quash rumours that there is a culture of bullying at Downing Street. In a press confe...

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Wrong Sort of Chaps Running The Place These Days

Funny story: Wrong Sort of Chaps Running The Place These Days

In a candid interview with The Telegraph today, outgoing Tory MP, Sir Rhodes D'Oblivion, condemned the lack of decent sorts in top positions these days. "There's just not enough decent chaps in parliament," he told the reporter from the comfort of...

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Dr Dolittle talks to Scooby Doo

Funny story: Dr Dolittle talks to Scooby Doo

Dr Dolittle met with Scooby Doo today but only after he was supplied with a years supply of Scooby Snacks for doing the interview. Dr Dolittle asked Scooby how they always catch the villain about half an hour into the episode. "I dunno" said Scooby "perhaps its to fit in with TV schedules". "What would you do if you were not fighting crime and catching villains" said Dr Dolittle. Scooby replied...

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Sheryl Cole tattoo misery

Funny story: Sheryl Cole tattoo misery

Sheryl Cole is fast-tracking her divorce to Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole, stating that she does not want any of his fortune, and just wants to rid herself of the bad memories. The Newcastle born singer won't be able to completely rid herself of...

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ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspended For Saying Hannah Storm Looked Like An Overstuffed Burrito

Funny story: ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspended For Saying Hannah Storm Looked Like An Overstuffed Burrito

NEW YORK CITY - ESPN sports presenter Tony Kornheiser has been suspended for making a dumbass remark about fellow female colleague Hannah Storm. Kornheiser remarked that Hannah Storm who was wearing a tight-fitting red sweater, a plaid parochial s...

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The Bachelor: It's Down To Two, Vienna and Tenley

Funny story: The Bachelor: It's Down To Two, Vienna and Tenley

HOLLYWOOD - Well it looks like the rose garden has finally been picked clean. After weeks and weeks and weeks, The Bachelor has finally come down to the final two girls; Vienna and Tenley. Yes the two females left standing or perhaps a better phra...

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Former High School Quarterback Now a Total Loser

Funny story: Former High School Quarterback Now a Total Loser

Medium Rock, AK - Senior year at Medium Rock High School was memorable for Johnny Wallbanger. The Medium Rock quarterback averaged 10 touchdown passes per game and threw for hundreds of yards, propelling his team to the top of their division. Wallb...

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Tiger Woods Apologizes To The Day Care School His Kids Attend

Funny story: Tiger Woods Apologizes To The Day Care School His Kids Attend

ORLANDO - In yet another move calculated to get Tiger Woods back in the good graces of Mr. and Mrs. America, the TigerBoy has written a letter to the day care center that his two kids attend. Mrs. Fritonia Nickelwhite, who is the founder and direc...

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Vancouver Police Confiscate Suspicious White Powder From Colombian Speed Skater

Funny story: Vancouver Police Confiscate Suspicious White Powder From Colombian Speed Skater

VANCOUVER - Vancouver police were tipped off that there was a strong possibility that one of the Colombian players, speed skater Luciano Taquitos was in possession of a suspicious white powder. Vancouver police broke into the room of Mr. Taquitos...

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Borax employees locked out!

The union for Borax at the plant in California was just on the news today as they have been locked out since January, because they reused to work for a contract and the owners had to close, because they could not keep paying union pay with the curren...

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The Tea Party Is Just A Republican 2.0 Reboot

Funny story: The Tea Party Is Just A Republican 2.0 Reboot

Just as the new Star Trek movie breathed life into an old, sad, overdone franchise, so the Tea Party is to the Republican Party. No more older men in bad toupees and corsets. Now there are younger, more attractive versions of your favorite origina...

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Dick Cheney Reveals True Form, Causing Mass Hysteria

Funny story: Dick Cheney Reveals True Form, Causing Mass Hysteria

Washington, DC (AP) - The screams of a thousand minds cracking at once into depths of madness unimaginable within this universe were heard on the streets of the US Capitol as former Vice President Dick Cheney inadvertently lowered his human shell, re...

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Sachin Tendulkar Hits Record Double Ton From Only 33 Balls

Funny story: Sachin Tendulkar Hits Record Double Ton From Only 33 Balls

Sachin Tendulkar, the midget Indian cricket captain, created history with the first double century in one-day internationals as his team thrashed South Africa by 153 runs in Gwalior. The 36-year-old hit 34 sixes in an unbeaten 204 off an impossibl...

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Animal Rights Group Claims Olympic Curlers Practiced Baby Seal Curling Before Olympics

Funny story: Animal Rights Group Claims Olympic Curlers Practiced Baby Seal Curling Before Olympics

Animal rights protesters marched through downtown Vancouver yesterday afternoon, chanting for the end of the practice of "seal" curling. Curling Captain Olaf Rsednik denied the allegations, which accuse a curling team of training with seals and even...

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Subo culture leader meets Miss Boyle

McLuz of McLuz met with Susan Boyle at her local hostelry for a few lemonades to discuss the BA course in subo culture at the University of Blackburn. McLuz had arranged the meeting at the local Tapas Bar but was forced to change the venue as the bar...

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Killer Whale Does What It's Supposed To Do - Kills Trainer

Funny story: Killer Whale Does What It's Supposed To Do - Kills Trainer

A killer whale has acted precisely as it should, and killed a 40-year-old female trainer at the SeaWorld marine park in Orlando, Florida. Officials described the incident as an accident, saying the woman fell in the water, but witnesses have claim...

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Walsall Crucifixion Stunt 'Not Funny'

Funny story: Walsall Crucifixion Stunt 'Not Funny'

Residents of a road in Walsall in the Midlands, venturing out in sub-zero temperatures yesterday for a bit of shopping and that, were horrified by the sight of a bloke crucified up a telegraph pole - in a bizarre protest. The bloke, wearing only a...

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Banksy Targeted By DCI Dick Bastard Of The Yard

Funny story: Banksy Targeted By DCI Dick Bastard Of The Yard

Maverick graffiti artist, Banksy, whose work sells for tens of thousands of pounds in galleries around the world, yet whose identity remains a mystery, has been singled out for identification and subsequent arrest by Scotland Yard as the police get s...

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Susan Boyle Fans Wage Networking War On Twilight Fans

Funny story: Susan Boyle Fans Wage Networking War On Twilight Fans

Internet users yesterday could barely believe their own eyes as virtually every social networking site on the net became jammed with messages which reduced the world wide web to a virtual battleground. It remains unclear where the conflict began,...

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SuBo Fans Cause Chaos On Cruise Liner

Funny story: SuBo Fans Cause Chaos On Cruise Liner

The cruise liner 'Boudica' was returned to its home port of Southampton yesterday as the Captain abandoned a Mediterranean cruise because of unruly behaviour by a number of individuals allegedly linked to Susan Boyle fan clubs. According to witnes...

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SuBo Fans Emphatically Deny Accusations Of Impropriety

Funny story: SuBo Fans Emphatically Deny Accusations Of Impropriety

Supporters of Scottish singing sensation and global phenomenon Susan Boyle held a press conference today at Blackpool's Winter Gardens to expressly deny that SuBo fans were little more than a badly behaved rabble who are gaining a global reputation f...

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Winter Olympic Officials Learn That Most Popular Athlete, Sweden's Ivana Phuque, Is Only Fourteen

Funny story: Winter Olympic Officials Learn That Most Popular Athlete, Sweden's Ivana Phuque, Is Only Fourteen

The sexy blonde woman with the bright smile and the "come hither" looks that have captivated this Olympics is actually the "pretty blonde girl." Olympic Officials in Vancouver have released documentation that the figure skater voted "most likely to"...

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Sweden's Olympic Skater, Ivana Phuque, Admits She Didn't Bring Any Panties To Vancouver

Ivana Phuque, the blonde figure skating sensation from the Swedish Winter Olympic Team, has made a name for herself at the Vancouver Games. Her jumps, spins, leg lifts, and other moves on the ice are drawing record crowds to the arenas and the pract...

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Swedish Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Voted First Ever "Miss Congeniality" in Olympics

Miss Congeniality is an award given to the friendliest and most outgoing and helpful girl in a beauty pageant. Until now, it has never before been given to an athlete at the Olympic games. Sweden's Ivana Phuque has been voted by a large number of a...

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