Animal rights protesters marched through downtown Vancouver yesterday afternoon, chanting for the end of the practice of "seal" curling. Curling Captain Olaf Rsednik denied the allegations, which accuse a curling team of training with seals and even creating a new version of the game.
"We never hurt the seals," says Olaf, "We become a one with the seals in their natural habitat. We simply put handles on their little backs and help them to slide across the ice. They like it, they think it is the most fun. We even have given them names. "Curly" is the best seal, he never miss for us yet!"
The group claims that this kind of treatment has hurt the delicate seals and is more cruel than the baby seal hunt itself.
Activist Martina Oof had this to say, "The seals slide and run into one another! Which is totally un-natural...well er I mean they they do it in an un-natural way and they look undignified with handles on their backs and little helmets on their heads!"
"You see we think of their safety", says Olaf, "We even put the little helmets on their heads, they get very excited when we play with them. Each team has different colored helmets. We reward them with fish after each play and they stay until it is time for them to move. These seals are part of our team and will never be hunted! We love them!"
Oof did not agree, or at least did not want to agree, "It is not natural for seals to be pets, they should be left out in the wild, even if they get hunted...er I mean they should be protected from men trying to curl them not men trying to club...them..."
We left Oof pondering her own logic. Will seal curling be a new Olympic sport? "We hope so, yes it would be great for the world and for seals," says Olaf.
