The sexy blonde woman with the bright smile and the "come hither" looks that have captivated this Olympics is actually the "pretty blonde girl." Olympic Officials in Vancouver have released documentation that the figure skater voted "most likely to" by all other athletes is actually only fourteen.
Ralph Dinball, of the International Olympic Committee Sub-Committee On Oversight, revealed the age during a press conference after Ivana won her fourth medal.
Ivana Phuque first rose to fame by wearing nothing under her short skirt in figure skating practices because "I vanted to feel ze ice."
"We know that Ivana has set records for scoring in the village, both on and off the ice, but everyone should be aware that she fails to qualify to be here because of her birthdate."
United States Olympic Team members from Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama, and Mississippi said that they failed to recognize anything wrong with Ivana's qualifications. "She done just as good as my sister," said bobsled team member Billy Bob Travis.
An appeal filed with the main deciding board for figure skating voted to uphold Phuque's appeal. She was so excited by the results of her appeal that she jumped up and down (after first crawling out from under the table where the board was seated).
