No culture of bullying says New Labour

Funny story written by The Red Menace

Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for No culture of bullying says New Labour

Following from allegations over the weekend that calls were made to an anti-bullying help-line from workers at Number 10, the Labour government has been quick to quash rumours that there is a culture of bullying at Downing Street.

In a press conference at Downing Street, journalists were individually taken aside by press office aides into a small room and thoroughly briefed on the story.

"There is no culture of bullying" said a spokesperson, "OK?".

When asked about the allegations that surfaced, aides were quick to respond: "Who told you there was bullying? Who? We want names. You're not leaving this room until we get answers."

Some journalists said they were subjected to Chinese wrist-burns, wedgies, had their lunch money stolen and "There is No Bullying" graffiti written over their notepads by press office officials.

A Downing Street insider say they have an idea who the complainants are, but were quick to quash the rumours. "Its rubbish" they said, "and if its who I think it is, she's a slag anyway and her mum isn't even her real mum."

"Its just journalists trying to make something from nothing. Anyway we know where most of them live and we'll get them outside where they are waiting for the bus."

A senior aide told the press "Its a pity the press are focussing on these spurious allegations when they should be focussing on the Conservative manifesto for the next election."

"There is no culture of bullying, and if we have to go to High Court to place injunctions on this story and seek individual censure on news reporters, editors and journalists, then so be it."

"If you just tell us who's been saying these things, we'll let you go."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more