Braless Swedish Olympic Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Sets World Record By A Nipple

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for Braless Swedish Olympic Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Sets World Record By A Nipple
People with longer toes might also have an advantage, along with men with erections.

The 250 meter women's speed skating race was decided at the wire... by lack of an underwire. Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque won the race at the Vancouver Winter Games by a nipple, because she was racing braless.

Official event judge Luther Steinman of Israel said that "it was a photo finish at the end between Ivana Phuque and the Korean skater. While both had 36-C cup bras underneath their lycra suits, Ivana won the race by a nipple."

When asked how she felt about her victory, Ivana said "I'm freezing to death! It's so damn cold, and I guess I'm lucky I didn't have time to warm up in so short of a race."

Contestants for the 500 meter races, which followed, immediately begin unzipping their lycra suits and removing their bras (film at eleven).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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