It's the Final They All Wanted!

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Thursday, 25 February 2010

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"Go Ivana!!

The speedskating Women's 800 m final will be between Sweden's Ivana Phuque and Russia's Voga Olga. Both came through tough semi finals yesterday. Ivana Phuque beat France's Ophelia Tits by a short head and Volga Olga squeezed out Australia's Haiey Munt. Now the final we've all been waiting for.

Phuque, the reigning world champion, is competing in her first games and is already proving to be a big hit in the Olympic Village, particularly when she introduces herself. The blonde bombshell from Stockholm is the pin up of the games and she sure looks good in spandex.

Her opponent is Volga Olga, the Russian powerhouse and current world record holder. She was controversially disqualified from the games in Turin for breaking an opponent's neck. What Olga lacks in style she more than makes up for in brute strength. Her training consists of trying to board buses alongside babooshkas in the Moscow suburbs.

Ivana Phuque is the favourite but she will have to keep her tits... wits about her as Volga Olga will look to barge her way to Olympic glory. There is expected to be a capacity crowd for the final with representatives from Playboy and Farming Today on hand to make offers to the lucky winner.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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