Jesus has decided to take over Madonna's role and has apparently been seen weeping in Rio De Janiero.
As far as we know Jesus was entertaining Samba dancers when someone threw beer at him causing his eyes to water. The tears came flowing down his cheeks and someone screamed, "It's Madonna!"
Madonna meanwhile has "Bared her Cross" and proven to the world that Jesus is really not the Son of God, but he is really good in bed, loves ancient women and will soon walk on water as soon as Madonna fixes him up with a new record deal!
Jesus, tired of "bearing his cross" was caught DJ-ing at the carnaval in Rio surrounded by bear-bummed beautiful Samba dancers and after attempting to pinch one of their buttocks was assaulted with the beer and called a Judas.
Madonna has attempted to contact Jesus but is too busy praying to God for forgiveness for shagging his only son.
God agreed to forgive Madonna but only if she promised to show him her CROSS (Dirty ol Man)!