Michael Jackson's Final Autopsy Released

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Thursday, 25 February 2010

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The final coroner's report in the death of Michael Jackson was released Saturday and reveals several new details about the King of Pop's death.

The autopsy revealed that Jackson had tattooed eyebrows and that he was nearly bald, having a long wig surgically implanted and a mole on the back of his neck the size of a mole.

The autopsy also showed Michael did suffer from Vitiligo, a skin pigment disorder, that would have eventually turned him green. He weighed 147 pounds and had an extra toe on his feet they may have improved his dancing.

His penis had already got to the green stage, Jackson often jokingly calling himself, "The Green Weenie!"

The fact that, though slim, he had a third ass cheek indicated that he might have been a twin. He had worn adult diapers for a good while because they didn't know if the crap would go to the left or the right.

He had had a special surgery so he would not have to handle his penis while he peed and usually peed from his left kneecap.

Other than that, the Coroner, Buddy Leaks, stated that Michael Jackson "was the same as you or me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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