Robert Pattinson Arrested For Indecent Exposure!

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 25 February 2010

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New Jersey Mall Closed At 11PM

Hollywood star Robert Pattinson was at the wrong place at the wrong time last night and wound up calling a friend to come down to the police station where he was seated in front of the police sergeant's desk.

"At least I didn't have to go into a cell. The guys were just doing their job. Still I feel like warmed over crap", he told the friend who later sold it to us.

We asked the friend if he would still be a friend after we ran the story.

"Yes, he wants the story out because it will be the truth and not some tabloid having him flashing people or something."

So what happened?

"It's not too complicated. Robert went out with some friends, me being one of them. We ran into some more people at a club and then we went to a second club and met some more folks. You ever been to The Sack?"

Yes we had and told him so.

"We left The Sack and went to Par Se's and we talked and joked and then we were going to take a friend home but suddenly Robert yelled, I gotta piss! So I took him to a mall near-by, we were well into New Jersey by this time and was taking Wayne (Denny) home. I told Pattinson that I'd drop Wayne at home and come back and get him."

According to the statement at police headquarters, they received a call about a man having his weener out behind the mall when they drove by.

"What happened was this", continued the friend. "The stupid mall was closed & Robert made a dash behind it. He was just zipping up when a car drove by. Before I could get back there, I got his call."

So before you read any wild stories about Robert Pattison, his friend asked for this to be published.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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