ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspended For Saying Hannah Storm Looked Like An Overstuffed Burrito

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 25 February 2010


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image for ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspended For Saying Hannah Storm Looked Like An Overstuffed Burrito
A burrito which has been opened up to show the nine different types of ingredients. (Photo courtesy of George Lopez).

NEW YORK CITY - ESPN sports presenter Tony Kornheiser has been suspended for making a dumbass remark about fellow female colleague Hannah Storm.

Kornheiser remarked that Hannah Storm who was wearing a tight-fitting red sweater, a plaid parochial school skirt, and red go-go boots looked like an overstuffed Taco Chamaco burrito.

Tony K, who actually resembles a Halloween jack-o-lantern except with a moustache and a little bit of hair on the sides of his head, said that he was just joking.

He later tried to change his story by saying that what he had actually said was that Hannah looked like a big link of Jimmy Dean Sausage. When asked by an ESPN executive if he thought that looking like a Jimmy Dean sausage was better than looking like a Taco Chamaco burrito.

Kornheiser raised his eyebrows and replied that he did. When asked why. He stated that because at least a Jimmy Dean sausage is American, whereas a Taco Chamaco burrito is from Mexico, a foreign country.

Mr. Kornheiser was informed that Taco Chamaco was founded in Green Bay, Wisconsin, a full ten years before the Jimmy Dean Sausage Company. He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Well, I guess that I was only going by the name."

Hannah Storm was asked to comment. She pointed out that Tony was one to talk since he looks like a round version of Sponge Bob Square Pants except that Sponge Bob Square Pants is much better looking, smarter, and a whole lot nicer.

Tony was asked to apologize to Miss Storm. He said that he was sorry for saying that she looked like an overstuffed burrito from the Taco Chamaco franchise.

Hannah told him that she did not accept his apology. She added that the whole incident had embarrassed her beyond belief and that since the horrible, horrible incident she has been ridiculed, laughed at, and made to feel lower than tuna fish shit, and she added, "And that's just from my family."

Storm said that the neighbors all point at her and say things like, "Hey Hannah, bring your burrito butt over here so I can have a taste," and "Hey sports girl do you want guacamole with that burrito?" and the worst one of all "Mmmm-Mmmm, I tell you what Hannah, after I drink about another eight beers or so you can sashay your burrito on over to my house and let me eat some good old imitation Mexican food."

For more information on Mexican food such as burritos, tacos, tamales, okra, and chile rellenos log on to www.mexicanfoodcanimproveyourmemory.huh

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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