Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Says "I Just Love Your British Helmets!"

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for Speed Skater Ivana Phuque Says "I Just Love Your British Helmets!"
There's nothing better than a shiny helmet

Swedish Olympic speed skater Ivana Phuque has entered the skeleton helmet argument by admitting that she "just loves British helmets." Phuque, arguably the most popular athlete in the Olympic village, said "To be honest, I just can't get enough of your British helmets. To me they are everything a girl could want. Good size and shape, polished and ready to use. I'm all in favour and I think they deserve a gold medal. They can come on my podium any time."

Such a ringing endorsement from one of the games most charismatic figures is certain to fan the flames. The Canadians have been very vocal in their objections to the British helmets. However, Phuque is an international helmet expert of some renown. She has personally inspected over 100 helmets at this game, so she knows what she is talking about. Outside her room door there is a constant que of athletes waiting for Ivana to check their helmets.

Phuque is going for gold herself. "I've been working on my stamina and flexibility. I'm sure I can deliver the goods."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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