ORLANDO - In yet another move calculated to get Tiger Woods back in the good graces of Mr. and Mrs. America, the TigerBoy has written a letter to the day care center that his two kids attend.
Mrs. Fritonia Nickelwhite, who is the founder and director of Orlando's, The Tiny Tykes and Tots Day Care School For Children of The Rich and Quasi-Rich, said that she received a notarized letter from Mr. Eldrick Tont Woods.
The notarized letter expressed to her his apologies that because of the fact that over a dozen women decided to seduce him in order to get monetary settlements reporters have been camped out at her school waiting to take pictures of his children, who he refers to as Tiggy A and Tiggy B.
Mrs. Nickelwhite went on to say that Mr. Woods is so concerned about the safety of her entire student body that he has decided to pay for two taser gun equipped security guards to keep the paparazzi at bay.
Mr. Woods has also informed her that he will pay for all of the kids lunches for the next three months. Mrs. Nickelwhite smiled from ear-to-ear when she noted that the nice, handsome, and sexy-looking Mr. Woods even presented her with a $4,000 Rolex watch.
In a related story. Tiger also stated that he plans to put pieces of the broken windshield of his black Cadillac Escalade SUV on eBay and all of the proceeds will go to pay for a new six-story high playground slide which he will have built on the campus of The Tiny Tykes and Tots Day Care School For Children of The Rich and Quasi-Rich.
