The Prime Minister today admitted that he and Alistair (his darling) Darling had fallen deeply in love.
Mr Brown revealed "On Wednesday morning I was spitting blood.I called the Chancellor into my office to give him the biggest bollocking of his life after the stupid 'Forces of Hell' gaff on Sky News.
I reached over and grabbed him around the throat as usual and drew him angrily towards me.
At that moment our eyes met..... I loosened my grip..... I pulled him tenderly towards me...I felt his warm breath on my face... our lips touched...
Afterwards we walked together to the House to face Cameron at PMQs. We were both walking on air. We no longer cared what the prat Cameron was going to throw at us.
We were in love.
The Speaker called Cameron and he ripped into us but we just sat there and smiled. I looked at Alistair, Alistair looked at me. I smiled at him, he smiled at me. We smiled at each other.... our heads moved closer together."
Mr Darling's wife was not available to comment today.
