Written by Nae mair crap

Thursday, 25 February 2010

McLuz of McLuz met with Susan Boyle at her local hostelry for a few lemonades to discuss the BA course in subo culture at the University of Blackburn. McLuz had arranged the meeting at the local Tapas Bar but was forced to change the venue as the bar had a Canadian male stripper that evening.

Miss Boyle asked McLuz to explain the break in at the local library in which several fanatics were disturbed, arrested then deported. McLuz told Miss Boyle that these were members of a secret sect intent on taking over the university. Miss Boyle was shocked to hear of this and asked if there were others in this sect. McLuz stressed that these were the Praetorian Guard, dispatched by the sect leader to disrupt and create mayhem. Miss Boyle was relieved to learn that other members of the secret sect are easily identified by their red scarves and $25 "Red Room Susan Fans Rule" lapel badges and their mantra, "We love you Susan. Tell us you love us".

Miss Boyle was visibly disturbed as she recalled a visit she made to New York, where she heard this war cry for the first time. She was assured that the strict application procedure for the course will ensure that students will not hold any allegiance to private clubs or secret sects. They will be required to agree that they hold no such allegiance on pain of immediate expulsion if a declaration is found to be false.

McLuz informed Miss Boyle that all students will be required to be tagged in order that their movements in Blackburn can be monitored 24/7. Students are required not to approach within a mile of Miss Boyle's home, and may not carry cameras or mobile phones when they are outdoors.

Further meetings will be held between the two, who it is reported struck up a memorable rapport. Miss Boyle, generous as ever presented McLuz with a quilt suggesting that she must feel the cold coming from a warm country and would need the quilt more than a Scot would. McLuz reportedly later sold the quilt on ebay to a rich Subo fan.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Susan Boyle

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