There were 262 spoof news stories published in April 2015. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Altzeimer's Cure Worries
Members of Lord Janner's family are reported to be very pleased about the news that a cure for Altzeimers disease has been discovered. The latest discovery comes just in time for Lord Janner to clear his name in an open trial of all suggestions th...
Read full storyAfrican American Men To Be Fitted With Body Cameras
African American males across the United States are to be equipped with body cameras in an attempt to combat the ever increasing crimes committed against them by law enforcement officers. Experts say that placing cameras on the potential victims r...
Read full storyMartians: Earth Day, Phooey! We Want a Mars Day!
The little green creatures have made up their minds that they aren't going to sit silently through another Earth Day while their own planet remains unrecognized. No siree! Yesterday a bunch of Martians held a protest on the steps of the main bran...
Read full storyStarbucks Baristas Study; Customers Squawk
Lots of kudos for Starbucks when it was announced that the company was initiating a program to pay college tuition for its baristas. No applause from the customers though. Baristas are so wrapped up in their studies, the level of service has dec...
Read full storyGay Owned Pizza Shop Refuses To Serve Straights
The gay owners of an Indiana pizza shop are refusing to serve hetrosexual customers. The news comes a little after a week Indiana passed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which critics say would allow businesses to openly discriminate against...
Read full storyLetter of Recommendation for Fledgling AA Member
April 27, 2015 To Whom It May Concern: Hello, my name is Anomny S., and I am Claire's sponsor in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Claire asked me to write this letter to provide proof of her involvement in AA to assist the judge make a favorable determination in her case. I am bound by honesty, to myself and to my higher power, which I have found through The Program. With that...
Read full storyClint Eastwood's Butler Knows Its Only A Matter of Time
Carmel, Ca - For the past three years Clint Eastwoood's butler, Arthur Grimes, has prepared himself for the inevitable day that he will be out of a job after finding his employer dead. "Every morning I check the classifieds and check in with an em...
Read full storyWorld's Second Oldest Person Admits Chances Of Keeping Title For Long Doubtful
Just days after becoming the world's oldest documented person, 116-year-old Gertrude Weaver died Monday in Arkansas. Weaver became the oldest person in the world after the death of a 117-year-old Japanese woman last week, according to records kept...
Read full storyCat image sparks social media buzz: Is it taking a dump or having a piss?
Hot on the heels of that fucking irrelvant gold/blue dress social media storm another intriguing image is generating massive Internet buzz. The image of a cat, which is either shitting or taking a piss on a Florida man's pair of FUCKING expensive...
Read full storyGeorge R. R. Martin's Wife Threatens To Divorce Him If He Kills Off Littlefinger
In what could be one of the direst threats writer George RR Martin has received in recent times, his partner of 30 years, and wife for 4, Paris Mcbride has threatened to leave him if his sixth installation of the wildly popular A Song Of Ice And Fire...
Read full storyMcDonalds to Hire 500 Chimpanzees In 250 Test Stores
A major announcement from McDonald's -who like all companies forced to compete in the global marketplace - is committed to using good old American creativity and resourcefulness to beat China and India at their own game. "McDonald's will be employ...
Read full storyLocal area man perplexed because mother-to-son affection has abruptly ended
Bethesda, MD-Lones Katz, a man who has always had a very close relationship with his mother, is baffled by his mother's recent lack of affection towards him. "For as long as I can remember, my mother and I have always hugged and kissed every time...
Read full storyClinton Foundation Names Catch 22 Milo Minderbinder As Fictional Director
BILLINGSGATE POST: Perhaps the best known of all wartime profiteers, 1st. Lieutenant Milo Minderbinder is a fictional character in Joseph Heller's novel Catch-22. Like the Clintons, he has no allegiance to any country, person or principle unless it...
Read full storyPresidential candidates get campaign kits instead of cash
Washington, DC -- The Federal Election Commission is distributing a campaign necessity kit to candidates for President of the United States. The multifaceted toolbox is being provided in lieu of cash. The FEC has the task of distributing federal f...
Read full storyAuntie Jean Advises Tara McClosoff From The Isle Of Wight On Showing Off Her Pubic Hairs
Tara: Auntie Jean, On the T.V. programmes; "Hotel Inspector" and "How Clean is Your House", I have often seen the presenters, AIexi Poliizei and Aggie McKensit remove feral pubic hairs from beds, showers and baths etc. with tweezers and put them into plastic bags. The sound on my T.V. does not work, so I have long presumed that presenters such as AIexi Poliizei are collectors of pubic hairs. Co-...
Read full storyAn Asteroid Strikes the Creation Museum, Wiping Out All the Animatronic Dinosaurs
PETERSBURG, KY-On Wednesday, an asteroid struck the Creation Museum run by the biblical apologist organization Answers in Genesis, wiping out all of the animatronic dinosaurs that have been a part of the Museum's exhibit since its opening in 2007.
Read full storyMan deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS
Bernard Buttspike, 44, is arguably the UK's fattest man at a gut-busting 71 stone. Bernard, who has never had a job and who is estimated to have received over half a million pounds in benefits over the last 25 years, has long claimed that he is 't...
Read full storyMcDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.
Los Angeles, CA - In an effort to keep up with the times and not slide down the grease sewer of bankruptcy, McDonald's is rolling out implementation of their latest marketing gimmick. "We've poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this project...
Read full storyApple Watch's killer app: it reinvents time
Cupertino, California -- Enthusiasm for the launch of Apple Watch zoomed off the charts this week, as reviewers focused on an advanced capability of the digital timepiece. It is an exclusive app called the "Apple Global Time Zone™ and it promis...
Read full storyMole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party
HEAVEN--Ohio Governor John Kasich asked this week, concerning his bid for the presidency in 2016, "[T]he most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?" This statement came only weeks after Ted Cruz announced his bid for th...
Read full storyMark Stone can still jerk off
There was a scary moment in last night's game between the Ottawa Senators and the Montreal Canadiens. Following a PK Subban slash, Ottawa's Mark Stone collapse on the ice, writhing in pain. He promptly left the ice holding his right wrist. "I'm o...
Read full storyMicheal Jordan Orders a Fleet of Lamborghini Golf Carts
Jupiter, Florida - If you only know two things about Micheal Jordan, it's that he likes to play basketball, and that he likes to play golf - and he likes to do both of these things, very fast! Since retiring from the basketball world, Micheal Jor...
Read full storyReindeer on strike, Santa decides to hire Uber to deliver presents
Startling developments have been underway at the North Pole, recently. Days after the elves resigned, after elf leader, Cedar Snowfluff, took offence at being mistaken for a leprechaun by a drunk Santa, the reindeers have now followed in the elves' s...
Read full story"I iz runnin for president", Hillary Unveils Lolcat Campaign For president
"I iz runnin for president!" With that short statement posted on Hillary Clinton's Twitter account early Sunday Morning, the former first lady and erstwhile Secretary of State, startled the nation and perhaps the world, not so much because she was ru...
Read full storyAtheist Sam Harris: Keep Dinosaurs out of the Classroom!
Prominent atheist and notable public figure Sam Harris has persuaded some Democratic Senators to try to stop the Flintstones from being shown in science classes. According to Harris, the scientific evidence about human beings evolving much later than the extinction of the dinosaurs is not only compelling... But also entirely delegitimises showing children any programs that depict humans and...
Read full storyPro Golfers Think Bubba is a Total Wad
Augusta, Georgia - On the eve of the 79th Master's Golf Tournament, ESPN revealed some of the answers to an unofficial, impromptu poll that they have been conducting over the last several tournaments. And according to these surveys, 2-time Master's w...
Read full storyAnswers To Correspondents - Has My Wife Set A Snooker Record?
QUESTION Recently my wife attended a hen party on the Isle of Wight. After several drinks she began a game with another woman on the pub snooker table. She claims to have had a break of 155. Is this possible? Additionally she then went on to play darts and claims to have achieved a nine dart finish, whatever that was. Mr. Nick Swarzkopf ANSWER Hello Nick. Regarding the snooker, your wif...
Read full story"Satan Socks" Vicar Banned from Todmorden Pub
A vicar who believes shoes and socks are "the tools of the Devil" has been turned away from a pub in Todmorden, West Yorkshire, for being barefooted. Martin Chuzzlewit, 56, landlord of the Splintered Potsherd on Boundary Street, asked the Reverend...
Read full storyWoman Looses Breast Implant In Vacuum Cleaner Mishap
Spartanburg, SC: A bag-less upright is bag-less no more. On Friday a woman was convalescing from a breast augmentation when a tragedy occurred. Around 1:15 PM police and medical personnel were dispatched to the home of a hysterical husband. Lt. Br...
Read full storyMovie Review: Adam Sandler's "The Ridiculous 6"
Although Adam Sandler has made a lot of ridiculous movies, The Ridiculous 6 is his most ridiculous yet. And this film is very offensive, too, making it about as funny as Charles Manson wielding an AR-15. The exclusive film carrier - Netflix - along with Sandler, and at least one other member of the cast, Vanilla Ice, seem to have a insouciant attitude about this matter, but many American Indian...
Read full storyMets fans suspended for use of delusion enhancing drugs
New York -- Major League Baseball has banned the entire fan base of the New York Mets from participating in any aspect of the game. The ruling by new MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred takes effect immediately and lasts until the end of the current season.
Read full storyHillary stool samples sent accidentally to Chair of Federal Reserve
Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): It was red feces all round as a two kilo bag of Hillary Clinton's stools was delivered unexpectedly to the desk of Janet Yellen, chair of the Board of Governors of the US Federal Reserve System. An accompanying not...
Read full storyApple grabs the wrist for its next fashion destination
Cupertino, California -- Following up on the overwhelming success of its family of smart wristwatches, Apple has staked out the area where your hand joins your arm as the market space for a new line of standalone fashions. Meet Apple Wrist Wearables.
Read full storyTexas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law
AUSTIN, TX-The Republican-controlled Texas legislature is poised to pass an historic Open-Viper Law over the next two weeks. The Open Viper Law, the first of its kind in the nation, would allow Texas citizens to openly carry venomous snakes in the Lo...
Read full storyJohn Kerry/EU: You're Gonna Make me Verbose When You Go
John Kerry has issued a (somewhat) heartfelt and (entirely) disinterested plea for Europe to stay in the EU. But for some reason his customary shine, polish and wide-eyed eloquence of a typical well-beloved fairly centre-leaning Secretary of State has temporarily deserted him. For some inexplicable reason, the notable public figure in question is straying into the kind of long-winded verbo...
Read full storyAgassi Admits To 'Shorts Stuffing' During Majors
Trump's Palm Coconuts Resort, FL - Since retiring from professional tennis in 2006, Andre Agassi has professed to the world that he didn't enjoy the game for many years while playing, and that his famous gold locks were indeed glued on - as he starte...
Read full storyRafa's Service Routine May Be Pooh Related, Doctor's Say.
Madrid, Spain - In sport, amateurs and pro players alike, will often stick with any strange ritual that is working for them, and it certainly doesn't seem like champion tennis star, Rafael Nadal, will be giving up his well-documented little OCD routi...
Read full storyCapitol Hill awash with reports 'Obama born with albino dick'
Washington AC/DC - They're hosing down the Oval Orifice men's room this weekend after someone posted footage of the President's annual urino-genitary medical exam on the White House intranet. It shows the President with a 10-inch lily-white willy...
Read full storyLondon Whale Helps The Spoof! Profits Go Through The Roof!
London, England - The two JP Morgan financial analysts, known collaboratively as the London Whale, have seemingly overnight, helped boost the profit margins of one of the very journalistic institutions which has been taking the piss out of them for n...
Read full storyiToons Shows Apple Logo Biting Android Robot in Crotch
CUPERTINO, CA - In an apparent act of retaliation, Apple's Itoons website displayed the Apple logo biting the Android robot in the groin area. Earlier today, on the Google map of Rawlpindi, Pakistan, there was an image of an Android robot relievin...
Read full storyObama Makes the Most Devastating Decision Ever!
A surprise announcement by President Barack Obama has set a tidal wave of furious debate and conflict loose all across the United States from Alaska to California. It is the most astonishing decision ever made by any president since Truman's deci...
Read full storyPhil Mickelson Can't Stop All The Hat-Tipping Nonsense!
Scottsdale, Arizona - Chip Fairway, here at the world famous PGA Training Facility of Scottsdale, where pro players can undergo any number of tests they think will help lower their score out on the course. A well-trained team of doctors, swing coache...
Read full storyHillary 'a dead ringer for Zsa Zsa Gabor' following $250,000 facelift
New York - Reconstructive surgeons worked for five hours solid on the bare-faced cheek of the woman destined to be the nation's face. The resulting 'Bride of Clintonstein' special effects are due for their world premiere on Sunday when Hillary Cli...
Read full storyNew Study Concludes That Semen Prevents Breast Cancer
WASHINGTON, DC - A new study, released Wednesday, has concluded that semen, consumed orally, prevents breast cancer. The study was issued by the National Foundation for Men. The study also found these additional benefits when a man deposits sem...
Read full storyCharles and Camilla Mark 10th Aniversary With A Good Old Fashioned Wank
LONDON - The heir to the British throne and his consort, Camilla, are celebrating 10 years of marriage -- a decade in which Camilla's public image has gone from aristocratic home-wrecker to admired addition to the royal family. Prince Charles...
Read full storySkull & Bones Inc. Floated on Stock Exchange
A new firm owned by father and son George H. Bush and George W. Bush and called the "Skull & Bones Inc". has been floated on New York's Stock Exchange. Shares opened at $66.60. The firm will be devoted to mass marketing and merchandising the...
Read full storyMatthew's Suicide Note
Scotland Yard Police are trying to trace the origins of a suicide note. Police were summoned to Blackfriars Bridge last night when a man out walking his dog spotted a pair of boots mid-way across the bridge on the pavement beside a briefcase full of...
Read full storyElection Thoughts with Reverend W A Spooner
Mood Gorning, I tant to walk today about the forthcoming General Election, which is only wee threeks away and is constantly deing biscussed in all the marious vedia. Some of you might fe beeling a fittle led up of all the telection alk and may creel like frying out: "I stan't cand many ore of this! I wish I fas war away hom frere." To all of you I say: "I hear you and I understand". It al...
Read full storyBlues Singer Fired By His Own Wife, Who Then Leaves Him For New Employee
Braxton, Mississippi - Henry Johnson Jr., a Mississippi Delta blues singer, was fired from his job at an auto tire shop by his own wife today, who then had sex with another man she hired to replace him. "The other man had no auto tire shop experie...
Read full storyHemorrhoid Piercings: The Deadly Trend Sweeping America!
Los Angeles, CA - Humans, much like gorillas: are interested, influenced, and educated by viewing recordings of their own species copulating on monitors. Humans love pornography and it influences the sex practices they engage in. Unless the last porn...
Read full storyConservative Party Manifesto 2015
(Or, actually what Cameron meant to say but didn't, being the gentleman that he is and everything.) "Over the last five years, we have placed our country, according to our business partners' demands, in the U.S. and elsewhere, under total bureaucr...
Read full storyPots Pans and A Shocking Deathbed Confession
New York, N.Y. - The Association of Cookware and Bakeware Manufacturers lost one of their giants last month. Allen Spencer was a key mover and shaker in the industry that helped turn kitchenware into something that made a house a home. In a soon to b...
Read full storyHillary Battles Elizabeth Warren For Rodent Supremacy: Chipmunk Cheek War
BILLINGSGATE POST: Which candidate has the cutest chipmunk cheeks? Although Hillary looks more like an adorable rodent than Elizabeth, both have faces that seem a little squirrely to the casual observer. In anatomical terms it is called having "buc...
Read full storyRock and Roll Hall of Fame Opens Inductee Nursing Home Next Door
CLEVELAND - A little known news item from the recent 2015 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremonies which saw musical legends like Stevie Ray Vaughan, Lou Reed, and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, to name a few, inducted into the Rock Hall, was the op...
Read full storyInformation Systems Security Officer's Identity Compromised
ST. LOUIS, MO - Information Security Officer, Jeremy Taylor, fell victim to identity theft after giving a company-wide presentation on social engineering, a technique used by hackers to psychologically manipulate employees into divulging confidential...
Read full storySnoop Dogg backs dope drone app
Los Angeles, California - Rolling Stoned magazine is reporting today that well known US rapper Snoop Dogg is a leading backer of an innovative $100m start-up business delivering medical marijuana by aerial drone. Mr Dogg, real name Calvin Cordoza...
Read full storyNew "Hire-A-Thug" Parking App is All The Rage!
San Francisco, CA - Ivor Putinski loves his new home in America, and wanted nothing more than to use his various talents to help improve the lives of the people in his newly adopted country. This inspired Ivor to develop his new "Hire-A-Thug" iPhone...
Read full storyHot Wheels Inc. To Take Over Broken Nat'l Hot Rod Assoc.
Gainesville, FL - The troubled National Hot Rod Association has been running out of gas and getting lapped by NASCAR and Formula 1 Auto Racing for the last three decades, but the folks over at Hot Wheels, Inc. think they have the solution to turn the...
Read full storyThailand sues Isle of Wight twins
Conjoined twins Doris (aged 86) and Betty (aged 86) Peaswhistle were left devastated yesterday when they received a note of formal litigation from the Embassy of Thailand in London. The litigation appears to refer to a book that Doris and Betty ha...
Read full storyEric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle
Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles is to be replaced by a dugong in the General Election. The shock history-making revelation was made in an extraordinary constituency meeting in Brentwood and Ongar yesterday. "I...
Read full storyUS Lottery Winner Chops Off Finger
One Sunday morning in Spring, David O'Malley interior decorator living alone in a run-down apartment in New York woke from a royal Irish hangover and set about reviving himself. Long since divorced from a childless marriage he had been living alone for over twenty years in bondage to a life of routine hard graft, restless sleep and the ritual weekend binges with his work mates in The Black Sham...
Read full storyBruce Jenner Learning How To Throw "Like A Girl."
Ex-patriarch to the Kardashian Royal Family, Bruce Jenner, 65, is reportedly going to all imaginable lengths, in order to complete his transformation into womanhood. The former Olympic Champion apparently wants nothing more to do with being able t...
Read full storyRonald McDonald announces intent to run for President
Adding to the growing list of franchise names running for President, Ronald McDonald announced his campaign for the highest office in the land. When asked why he would make such a move, the clown responded, "I figured with the other candidates tha...
Read full storyDr. Seuss' latest book "a contribution-from-beyond-the grave"
New Yawk, New Yawk -- Dr. Seuss, who died in 1999, has just published a new book, What Pet Should I Get? A parody of the Dick and Jane readers by which Americans became illiterate during the 1950s, the book is written in what critics contend is "m...
Read full storyFirst Gay Cat To Sue Indiana Kennel
French Lick, Indiana - Duane Fick, 27, can assure the presiding judge in his upcoming trial that his beloved cat, Fuggles, is pissed-seriously pissed. And from what this reporter can gather, that piece of evidence seems to hold true. "Fuggles has nev...
Read full storyStudy Shows: 88% of All Missing Sunglasses Are Actually Already On Your Head
New study out of The University of California, Berkeley shows evidence that 88% of the sunglasses you cannot find, or so desperately want to wear, are actually already on top of your head. Additional research shows that as for the other 12% of th...
Read full storyOklahoma allows executions by laughing gas
Oklahoma - A cheap and effective alternative to the electric chair is being backed by Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin a recent convert to laughing gas. Nitrous oxide is touted as the new Zyklon-B of choice after tests showed it causes rapid asphyxia...
Read full story4 days Before the Megafight, Pacquiao Revealed: "Bruce Lee is my Biological Father"
As the whole world is preparing for the upcoming fight of the century between the era's two greatest boxers- Mayweather and Pacquiao, the only eight-division world champion Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao broke the silence as he revealed one of the most shoc...
Read full storyIowa Man With Facial Blindness Deemed America's Most Romantic!
Des Moines, Iowa - Old Harold Grandy, 76, wasn't know for much in this sleepy little hamlet in western Iowa, but now he can hold his chin up high, as he has been crowned: The Most Romantic Man in America! And for a man who has struggled through the...
Read full storyLibyan Man Selling The Crap Out of Pool Toys Down By The Docks
Tripoli, Libya - Amhar Sandibar never thought he'd be so lucky again. Back in the good old Khadafi years, he had a nice little business selling swimming pool supplies: floating loungers, blow-up whales and arm-swimmies, etc. to a wealthy flow of the...
Read full storyBlues Singer's Dog Runs Away
Braxton, Mississippi - Blues singer and guitarist Henry Johnson Jr. had more bad luck this week when his dog ran away. Johnson was recently fired by his own wife, who then dumped him and began a relationship with the man she hired to replace him. Jo...
Read full storyGolfer Furyk Spotted Selling Tartan Jacket Trophy After Win at Hilton Head
Hilton Head, South Carolina - Our man on the golf scene, Chip Fairway, had been at the RBC Heritage Golf Tournament for four very long days - his work was done. There was nothing left to do but smudge some dirt over the scratch on his rental car and...
Read full storyBeauty Pageant Contestant From Algeria Cancels
Miss Algeria Sharifa Boudine has told the organisers of the Miss Hands-Around-The-World competition that she cannot attend because she will not be allowed to wear traditional Moslem style dress which features Burqu'ua. Madamoiselle Boudine said to...
Read full storyWoman Locates Missing Socks
(Frackville, PA) Shelley Hoax, 74 and a life-long resident of Frackville, PA, unexpectedly discovered "every damn sock" that she believed she had misplaced for the past 50 years. She came across the find Saturday morning completely by surprise.
Read full storyLindsay Vonn Says Tiger's Glutes Are "Fully Activated" For Master's.
Olympic Downhill Ski great, Lindsay Vonn, assured worldwide golf fans that her boyfriend, Tiger Woods, and his glutes, were fully activated in preparation for the 79th Master's Golf Tournament taking place this week. This in speculation, after Tiger...
Read full storyRory Takes Another Swing at Wozniacki!
Dublin, Ireland - Most journalists covering the sporting world thought it would never happen, but it has - Irish Golfer Rory Mcilroy has taken the star tennis player, Caroline Wozniacki, back into his well-pumped biceps. We had our Ace-In-The-Hol...
Read full storyFirst Body Part Found At Trump's New Golf Course
Ferry Point, The Bronx, NY - With winter's harsh grip loosening across the New York City region, golfers are dusting off their clubs and getting ready to hit the links for the 2015 season. But this year, NY golfers are in for a special treat, as Dona...
Read full story"Health tourism" visitors say it's the best holiday they've ever had
Health tourism is currently one of the UK's fastest growing industries, as Europeans flock to our country to take advantage of our overstretched national health service. Though some politicians claim that it's a bad thing, health tourists themselves...
Read full storyIsle Of Wight News - "Fart" Powered Wind Farm Gets Go Ahead
High tech blade-less wind farms, the brain child of Isle of Wight inventor Johnny Dyson are to be erected around the Isle of Wight's vegetarian refugee camps. The wind farms, designed to extract the spent air from around the vegetarian New Age se...
Read full storyGod admits that dinosaur bones are just a "geological hoax" He pulled on humanity
In a stunning announcement, God, the creator of all things, admitted that dinosaur bones are really just "gag props" that he created in the soil for us to find. "Sorry if I just spoiled your childhood" God said with a chuckle. Asked why he...
Read full storyPlain cigarette packaging will help people addicted to fonts
British MPs have voted to introduce plain packaging to all cigarettes sold in the UK by 2016, in an attempt to cut down on font addiction. "It's a growing problem," said one typographer. "Thanks to the internet, it's easier than ever for kids to g...
Read full storyColorado Spends Some of its 'Pot of Gold.'
Denver, Colorado - Governor John Chickencooper (R) wasn't so sure about letting his citizens grow mad weed and flog it out across the rest of America like a big weed rainbow, lighting up the sky - but he's sure enjoying the big pot of gold which has...
Read full storyWorlds First Hermaphrodite To Get Double Sex Change
Stockholm Sweden: A 16 year old with ambiguous genitalia has been allowed to undergo a "double sex change" operation. According to the doctors the parents couldn't be more proud of their child. They see "he and she" (soon to be she and he) as a t...
Read full storyObama Tells Grade School Students He Is Not A Tax and Spend Liberal
Charlottesville, NC- President Obama expressed amazement today that his political opponents sometimes call him a "tax and spend liberal." On a visit to an historically segregated, poor performing all black school, the President told students that h...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com Dead Right Again!
Here is a verbatim report from an article in a leading British Paper. We are not making this up. This is actually what it said: "Sex scandal Labour grandee Lord Janner has been probed over allegations he was part of a Westminster paedophile ring. The Met police spent six months investigating claims the peer - said to be too frail from dementia to be prosecuted - was a guest at London sex a...
Read full storyIsle of Wight residents rejoice at opening of Food Bank on island
Residents of Shanklin, on the Isle of Wight, were in high spirits yesterday after receiving the announcement that the town was to be the location of the island's first official Food Bank. 'It's absolutely marvellous', gushed Betty Bigglesthwaite,7...
Read full storyISIS Orders Mass Defecation on Quran
TIKRIT, IRAQ - ISIS commander, Haid D'Salaami, ordered his soldiers to execute a mass-defecation on the holy Quran to prove their manliness. The order came after ISIS soldiers succumbed to Iraqi soldiers when Tikrit was retaken earlier today. Iraq...
Read full storyMore schools to offer breakfast in bed
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama signed an Executive Order today, mandating that schools offer breakfast in bed for disadvantaged students. When the school bell rings, many children file into classrooms and open their textbooks. Increasingl...
Read full storyDiane "Duane" Sawyer Also Outed At Big Jenner Interview."
Malibu, CA - Production Assistant, Alicia Glitz, was just trying to scratch her way up to the mid-level ranks of the hair and make-up department, in the dog-eat-dog entertainment industry, when she scored a job on the big Bruce Jenner interview, with...
Read full storyJimmy Savile - Case Closed!
The Jimmy Savile Inquiry into paedophilia that has been ongoing since October 2012 has been officially closed. Sir Winston Pike conducting the inquiry said that the case has been officially closed from lack of reliable evidence. "After due consul...
Read full storyGame of Thrones author's writing pace set to quicken as he is writing from prison
Fans have been celebrating the recent imprisonment of Song of Ice and Fire series author G.R.R. Martin, since it means he will almost certainly be writing a lot quicker from his cell, without any of the distractions which have plagued the author's ou...
Read full storyIt Is What It Is, Isn't It?
Much like the mysterious dark matter that astrophysicists have been hypothesizing about since the 1930s, metaphysicians this week announced that "It is what it is--isn't." Explained Dr. Cecile Plotinus, who teaches a course in the Pre-Socratic ph...
Read full storyObama Announces Free Ice Cream for Low-Income Children
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama will go to one of Washington's poorest neighborhoods to talk about a plan to give low-income children free ice cream. "If we're serious about living up to what our country is about, then we have to consider what we...
Read full storyBigot Parents Are Having Yet Another Baby
Chepenseki, TENN.-- Local morons , Roy and Teri Rosheen, have had yet another child. According to local sources, the couple plans on naming the creation something "unique" like "Unique" or "Randy". The precious and soon to be dimwitted child is t...
Read full storyEagle Attacks Amazon Drone, Makes Off With Spanx and Bullets!
Flagstaff, Arizona - The Northern Arizona town of Flagstaff, near The Grand Canyon, has been selected as one of the test cities for Amazon Inc.'s new drone delivery service. And it didn't take long for man's flying bird to go toe-to-toe with Mother N...
Read full storyJar Jar Bink's Son to Act in Star Wars: Episode VII
Credible sources claim that Jar Jar Bink's son is to play a major role in the upcoming Star Wars movie in December 2015. After sweeping through all the strategically placed and completely legal listening devices placed within Disney studios, you...
Read full storyNone of Your Goddam Business!
Two strangers meet in a bar and get to talking. The following 'conversation' took place. 1. What is your name? 2. Mathew. 1. Mother's maiden name? 2. Coyle. 1. Where do you live? 2. I live in Madison Drive, Wisconsin. 1. If I said I wanted an aerial photo of your house what would you say? 2. Where I live is none of your business. 1. If I asked you how you got it, when you got it...
Read full storyAncient text says Jesus Thought Mary Was a Ball Breaker!
Professor Karen L.King, in her office at Harvard Divinity School, held a fragment of papyrus that she says contains a reference to Jesus' wife. The ink on the front side contains eight lines, dark enough to be legible. Line 4 purportedly says, "Je...
Read full storyMedical Breakthrough a Boon for Business
A business "mind training" course using a newly developed drug has been set up at the Hiram Abiff Medical Research Unit in Bristol UK. It promises to 'help' people who aspire to the legal and other professions including banking where institutiona...
Read full storyFashion Icon First To Be Jailed In Underweight-Gate!
Giovanni Testarossa, 59, was the first, in what is likely to be many jailed fashion moguls-thrown into a Parisian dungeon for hiring underweight models. On Friday, April 2nd, The French Ministry set into affect new harsh penalties for hiring fashi...
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