Written by Auntie Jean

Sunday, 26 April 2015

image for Isle Of Wight News - "Fart" Powered Wind Farm Gets Go Ahead
A "New Age" hippy fart.

High tech blade-less wind farms, the brain child of Isle of Wight inventor Johnny Dyson are to be erected around the Isle of Wight's vegetarian refugee camps.

The wind farms, designed to extract the spent air from around the vegetarian New Age settlements, the inhabitants of which are prodigious consumers of baked beans, will provide enough electricity to illuminate the Island's ten street lights.

Vegan or New Age farts are also a very powerful greenhouse gas, with one traveller producing the same flatulence as one hundred sheep.

One pound of veggie poop can trap 25 times more heat in the atmosphere than a pound of carbon dioxide and the treated trumps are remarkably similar to natural gas.

Because ass wind can be captured using strategically placed extractor fans sited in close proximity to veggie hangouts, it can subsequently be purified and burned to produce electricity, heat buildings, or power for instance, cable cars like the one near The Needles tourist "attraction".

Capturing fart gas before it gets into the atmosphere also helps reduce the effects of climate change.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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