WASHINGTON, DC - A new study, released Wednesday, has concluded that semen, consumed orally, prevents breast cancer.
The study was issued by the National Foundation for Men.
The study also found these additional benefits when a man deposits semen into a woman's mouth:
1. Increases her income substantially.
2. Reduces her anxiety.
3. Maximizes her quality of sleep.
4. Improves her skin.
5. Improves her hair.
6. Increases her IQ.
7. Improves her social status.
8. Creates a constant state of bliss (Nirvana).
9. Increases the size of her automobile.
The recommended dosage, published in the report, is that semen be administered twice daily.
