Oklahoma allows executions by laughing gas

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 18 April 2015

image for Oklahoma allows executions by laughing gas
Hahaha, Governor, you sure is killin me

Oklahoma - A cheap and effective alternative to the electric chair is being backed by Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin a recent convert to laughing gas.

Nitrous oxide is touted as the new Zyklon-B of choice after tests showed it causes rapid asphyxiation through sordid - uh, morbid! - dissociative anaesthesia (WTF dat? Ed).

And it's cost effective despite eco-nutter claims about its reputation as a major climate change green house gas.

Governor Fallin's decision is backed by favorable stats showing an average death hit of two lungfuls currently retailing at around eleven dollars.

That makes it an attractive proposition for dispatching Death Row prisoners scheduled for execution by traditional methods, such as hydrogen cyanide and/or carbon monoxide.

The state's firing squad remains also an option but at around $10,000 per execution, factoring in bullets and cost of subsequent gory clean-up, is viewed by some as an unnecessary extravagance. Which is all good news for Oklahoma's nitrous oxide brigade.

"The substance can also be used as an oxidizer in the launching of rockets," a spokesperson at the American Disassociation of Laughing Gas Manufacturers commented, "in case Governor Fallin opts to enter the space race."

200-gallon canisters of the substance can be purchased elsewhere on this webiste.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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