Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): It was red feces all round as a two kilo bag of Hillary Clinton's stools was delivered unexpectedly to the desk of Janet Yellen, chair of the Board of Governors of the US Federal Reserve System.
An accompanying note identified it as part of a do-it-yourself ObamaCare arsehole screening kit which tests human poop for the government-sponsored medical insurance scheme.
Fortunately Ms Yellen was not at her desk when the package arrived and which her security detail passed following confirmation of the sender's name, address and social security number on the back of the envelope.
"Our instructions are to send it right back to the original sender," a Federal Reserve mailman commented, "maybe along with some of Ms Yellen's own samples. Purely as a mark of mutual esteem."
Ben Bernanke's successor is five foot one.
