Dr. Seuss' latest book "a contribution-from-beyond-the grave"

Written by Gee Pee

Tuesday, 21 April 2015


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Dr. Zeus' latest is an eye-opener, even for Mom and Dad!

New Yawk, New Yawk -- Dr. Seuss, who died in 1999, has just published a new book, What Pet Should I Get?

A parody of the Dick and Jane readers by which Americans became illiterate during the 1950s, the book is written in what critics contend is "moronic verse."

According to Seuss' widow, Audrey Gazelle Seuss, her late husband dictated the book to her during a channeling session that "left me in tears."

As part of its advertising blitz, the publisher, Random Haus, has released one of the book's illustrations, drawn by the late author himself, via Audrey, during a separate channeling session with his wife.

As simplistic as the book's story, the picture, a simple pen-and-ink drawing inked with color, shows a smiling boy and a girl staring through the window of a pet shop at a pussy wearing a red bow.

The picture, some suggest, is "suggestive" and may be inappropriate for children. It has also been deemed as "anti-gay" for showing a pussy rather than some other "pet."

The book's conceit is that the children are being warned about potential perverts. Which Pet Should I Get? indicates which sort of caresses are "appropriate."

A sample verse reads:

Which pet should I get?
Where should I let
A stranger set
His hand to pet?

The verse is as "asinine" as its theme, some mothers say. They will not buy the "sex ed" book for their children. "It's not educational, but prurient," they claim.

However, Random Haus is betting that Dr. Seuss' many admirers will want to add this contribution-from-beyond-the-grave to their collection of other Dr. Seuss' books, which include Green Sperm and Ova, The Pussy in Heat, How the Pinch Stole Virginity, and Hop on Pop!

Accordingly, the publisher has increased the initial run of its first printing from 500 to 1,000.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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