Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Friday, 10 April 2015

image for An Asteroid Strikes the Creation Museum, Wiping Out All the Animatronic Dinosaurs

PETERSBURG, KY-On Wednesday, an asteroid struck the Creation Museum run by the biblical apologist organization Answers in Genesis, wiping out all of the animatronic dinosaurs that have been a part of the Museum's exhibit since its opening in 2007.

Unlike the original Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event of 65 million years ago, the asteroid that struck on Wednesday took out the dinosaurs immediately, instead of their becoming extinct over hundreds of years. In fact, one of the more realistic animatronic dinosaurs, on seeing the asteroid approach the Creation Museum, reportedly yelled, "Oh, shit! It's happening agai-," but was unable to finish his sentence. Also taken out by the asteroid was the Museum's newest exhibit, a large skeleton of Allosaurus frigilis, which apparently was not hardy enough to survive the asteroid's impact.

In terms of financial loss to the Creation Museum, the impact of the asteroid was disastrous, since the asteroid event has apparently, according to the president of Answers in Genesis Ken Ham, been deemed an "Act of God," prompting Bill Nye to quip, "Well, I guess we now know what God thinks of the debate between evolution and Creationism."

The exhibit for Lucy, a replica of the partial skeleton of the hominid specimen Australopithecus afarensis used by the Creation Museum to disprove the theory of evolution, was unharmed by the asteroid, except for the placard next to the exhibit explaining why Lucy is in reality not a part of the hominid line leading to modern humans but is, in fact, just a hairy monkey.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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