Hemorrhoid Piercings: The Deadly Trend Sweeping America!

Written by Harry Klondike

Thursday, 23 April 2015


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Los Angeles, CA - Humans, much like gorillas: are interested, influenced, and educated by viewing recordings of their own species copulating on monitors. Humans love pornography and it influences the sex practices they engage in. Unless the last porno you saw was made before 1985 then you know that sex isn't really sex till it goes anal.

That said, it's not surprising that certain unintended consequences have sprouted under this trend of love making which leaves some women wondering what their vaginas are even for. The most common problem is the hemorrhoid. People get them all the time regardless of whether or not they're fans of back door affections- but for those who are... well, this means the rectum is seen and used in ways that make aesthetics a thing of importance.

There is a saying in the fashion world, "if you cant hide it decorate it". That's exactly what many women have been doing. So far no fewer than four women have died of septic shock in Los Angeles, CA and one in Manhattan, NY. Scores of other women have spent weeks hospitalized receiving intravenous antibiotics.

The advice form the medical and psychotherapy community is unanimous. Don't stop piercing! Looks are important! Use more lubricant. Women never let the toxic vapor of nail salons get in the way of beauty, so don't get bummed out by a sore rear!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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