Micheal Jordan Orders a Fleet of Lamborghini Golf Carts

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Monday, 20 April 2015

image for Micheal Jordan Orders a Fleet of Lamborghini Golf Carts
"Look out Grampa! Jordan wants to play through!"

Jupiter, Florida - If you only know two things about Micheal Jordan, it's that he likes to play basketball, and that he likes to play golf - and he likes to do both of these things, very fast!

Since retiring from the basketball world, Micheal Jordan has been honing his golf game, to a near pro level, at the Bear's Club - an extremely exclusive Golf Course, near his home in Jupiter, Florida. And he's been practicing at his usual drive-to-the-hoop speed.

Sick of the slow play over at the Bear's Club, Jordan is said to be building his own course just down the road, and it looks to be quite revolutionary, with it's small drag-racing strips alongside each fairway. Now, with the purchases of 30 Lamborghini designed golf carts, play at Jordan's new club just got a whole lot quicker.

We flew over to Milan, Italy, to take a first hand look at these rocket-carts, where we met up with Guido Lamborghini Jr. Jr. Jr., who could neither confirm, nor deny, Mr. Jordan's cart order.
"She'll get you 'round an average 18-hole course in about a half hour," told Guido, who explained that Jordan didn't even want the mandatory seat belts installed. "He's a crazy one, for sure!" added Lambo Jr. "He said the belts would just slow him down," not realizing he'd just let the cat out of the bag.

Indeed, back at The Bear's Club, other patrons will be glad to see Jordan swing over to his 'Race Track' Jack Nicklaus designed course. "He's a goddamn menace," complained Bernie Goldburn, who, like Jordan, also prefers to play almost every weekday morning. "I remember, once, he came out here with a goddamn Corvette engine strapped to the back of his cart," told Goldburn, from behind his cuban cigar. "We were like, 'Hey Jordy, you mind with that thing over there? I'm tryin' to putt for a goddamn birdie over here! He just revved it even louder until we let him play through-'"

Our man on the scene, Chip Fairway, tried his very hardest to get an interview with Mr. Jordan, waiting patiently each morning for him to arrive for his round. But, as you can imagine, he's a tricky guy to catch up with. "There he goes again," said Goldburn (who hadn't left Chip's side in days.) "Just driving his Mercedes right up to the first tee, radio blaring his goddamn disco tunes - he's a menace! Good riddance to ya!"

Jordan's course is said to be going up at record speed too, with bulldozers being chased by rolling green sods. "Yeah, he's really up my ass to get it done quick!" said a sweaty Jack Nicklaus, who was personally digging out a giant sand bunker on the 12th hole. "But he's a really great guy. He's going to be really great for the game of golf. He'll probably win a Congressional Medal of Honor as well one day, like I did. I just really think he should rethink those seat belts!"

Note - In order to apply for membership at Micheal Jordan's new 'Race Track Hollow' Country Club, you will have to have first graduated from Germany's famed Nurburgring, Formula 1 Driving Program.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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