Startling developments have been underway at the North Pole, recently. Days after the elves resigned, after elf leader, Cedar Snowfluff, took offence at being mistaken for a leprechaun by a drunk Santa, the reindeers have now followed in the elves' stead, and are refusing to pull Santa's sleigh unless their demands are met.
Unconfirmed reports by our North pole correspondent, White Snow, tell us that the reindeer are wrangling for better working conditions, higher wages and the sacking of head sleigh-puller Rudolph.
Here's what some of the reindeer have to say about Rudolph-
Blitzen, who proudly proclaims himself Santa's eighth favorite reindeer, said, "Rudolph has been acting up a lot lately. Ever since he had a song written for him, he's become all high and mighty. Rudolph needs to be brought down a notch." Cupid, another member of the sleigh pulling troupe, is slightly more forthcoming. He says, "That darned Rudolph! He stole ma girl. It no fair that he gets all the girls. Ruddy Rudolph!
The reindeer all agree that they will not work as long as Rudolph stays on the sleigh-pulling committee.
Meanwhile, Santa's weight has gone down from his usual 780 pounds to a more svelte 598 pounds. While, it may seem like this is a consequence of added stress over the workers' strike, magazine clippings found hidden among Santa's effects would suggest that he may secretly be on the revolutionary new 'Atkins for Ample Asses' diet, otherwise known as A.A.A.
This diet has been known to induce temporary insanity and aversion to four-legged creatures, which explains why Santa does not seem to care about the reindeer refusing to work, and is so keen on hiring Uber to do his present delivery.