There were 228 spoof news stories published in November 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Cured Ebola Doc Sneezes at NYC Press Conference
The press conference started out without incident, as scores of medical workers, hospital officials, politicians, and reporters crowded around the cured doc to wish him well as he was released from a NYC hospital. Warm wishes, hugs, and handshake...
Read full storyElite Squad of Twitter Birdies Handles the Queen's Tweets
Shortly after it was announced that the Queen had sent her first tweet it's been revealed that only "special" Twitter birds are entrusted with the royal tweets. Not just any old birdie will do. In addition to possessing a royal pedigree (commone...
Read full storyVets Find Miracle Cure For Internet Worms
In another U.K. "first" The British Association for Parasitic Worm Development has discovered that internet worms can be permanently eliminated by a single treatment of dog wormer medicine. The computers will have to be treated by qualified veter...
Read full storyNew Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records
A new James Bond film is set to break all box office records. Called "Never Live Again Unless Once More Over The Eight" it sets out to give Bond a human face: Explained producer Erin Broccoli with his writer-director son Benjamin; "Well, we figured i...
Read full storyTurkey Pardoned by President Goes On Killing Spree
The turkey, pardoned by President Barack Obama on Wednesday, has reportedly gone on a mass killing spree in what many are calling a 'Presidential Blunder'. 'Cheese', the national Thanksgiving turkey who was given a stay of execution by the Preside...
Read full storyFlorida Man Looking For Family To Celebrate Black Friday
Florida man Gerry Jackson is desperately searching for a family he can celebrate the upcoming Black Friday holiday with, determined this year not to spend it alone. "For the past few years I have really not done much to celebrate Black Friday," ex...
Read full storyMcDahmer's: The Newest Venture in Sustainable Living
OAK BROOK, IL - Mickey D's has announced its newest venture in sustainable living--or, as some foodies across the nation are calling it, "sustainable eating." The venture is called McDahmer's, and is named after the serial killer Jeffery Dahmer,...
Read full story"Bronte" Novel Written By Ghost Writer Shock
The new best selling novel, Wuthering Highs II by Emilia Bronte, of Wuthering Highs fame has been found by a forensic journalist to be a clever fake and has probably been written after her death by a "Ghost Writer" lurking in a cemetery it was revea...
Read full storyVenus Atmosphere Proven Safer Than Earth's
Scienceville, CA-Scientists were shocked to find, after years of study, out that the atmosphere of the planet Venus is healthier than the atmosphere on Earth. The atmosphere of Venus, which is primarily Carbon Dioxide (CO2) with traces of Nitroge...
Read full storyNew book outs Jackie O as George Bush Sr's secret ho
New York - A sophisticated bipartisan cover-up about Jackie Bouvier Kennedy's cold war love life is laid bare in a new biography dishing the dirt on stuff many Americans thiught long dead and buried. And it names Madonna as Jackie's 1958 'stillbor...
Read full storyObama Has Identity Stolen by Muslim Teenager
Washington, DC-President Barack Obama's identity was stolen recently when he was trying on clothes at an upscale shopping mall and lost his wallet while in the dressing room. The wallet was stolen right under the noses of the Secret Service. After th...
Read full storySepp Blatter to become Villain in next James Bond movie "Own Goal"
European crook Sepp Blatter will be the arch villain of the next James Bond movie, Pinewood Studios has announced. James Bond is an iconic fictional British spy who infiltrates evil organisations bent on world domination and kills their leader, us...
Read full storyDepartment of Political Correctness unveils new euphemisms
The Department of Political Correctness unveiled its new set of 2014-2015 euphemisms today at a press conference in New York after the old euphemisms acquired the same negative connotations as the original phrases. "We believe that these new euphe...
Read full storyDonald Trump Will Keep Donating Money to Science Until they Find a Way to Make Him Immortal
New York, NY-Blowhard billionaire Donald Trump stated in a press conference that he was afraid for the world after he had passed. "I know there will be widespread mourning and depression when the Donald leaves this mortal coil and I want to try to...
Read full storyFerguson Man Shocked To Find He Has No Milk
Ferguson man Randy Burrows is reeling in shock this morning after discovering that his mother had failed to purchase milk to accompany his usual breakfast of cornflakes. The 26 year old school janitor, who has yet to leave home, was visibly upset,...
Read full storyQueen Falls Asleep During Prince Charles Speech
Buckingham Palace, London, England-Queen Elizabeth, as did most of the rest of the audience, fell asleep during a Prince Charles speech yesterday. "All he had to do was say 'gardening' and I was out" said the Queen. "It at least used to take long...
Read full storyI Invented Science Confesses Scamatology Founder Elron Hubtard in Just Revealed Documents
Clearwater, FL-In newly discovered documents, Scamatology founder Elron Hubtard was found to have confessed to inventing science and then disguising all his contributions by going back in time and making it look like his discoveries were the work of...
Read full storyIs Kim Jong-un Elvis Clone?
Worrying Elvis behaviour by North Korean Nutjob Kim Jong-un points to him being an escaped Elvis clone, according to leading conspiracy theorists. In 2002, clones were illegally made from a frozen Elvis wart by disgraced Dr. Abu Mengelazar. Six cl...
Read full storyApple Announces Female Egg Bank
Ever since Apple announced plans to store employee eggs in hopes that women would remain at their desks and continue with business as usual (as opposed to quitting to have a kid) the march has begun for other institutions to open Egg Banks. Sperm Ban...
Read full storyA second Loretta Lynch crawls out of the woodwork as Clinton/Whitewater throwback
Washinton DC - A second woman called Loretta Lynch has been nominated by President Obama as his pick for Attorney General following Eric Holder's abrupt departure citing piles. Loretta Lynch, 69, is a Little Cock, Arkansas lawyer who was part of B...
Read full storyCumming soon to a toy story near you
HOLLYWEIRD, CA -- Dizzy Pixie has announced plans to produce Toy Store 1000, which is scheduled to be released sometime in June, 2015. After years of false starts and setbacks, Pixie head Johnny Lasso, who will direct the film, said his team was f...
Read full storyPhilae Lander finds discarded condom
The Cosmos - Alien litter louts are being blamed for a pile of cack discovered on the surface of Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. Pics of the offending trash were beamed back to Earth from a robotic probe, the Philae Lander, that picked up imager...
Read full storyEarth is Not Actually a Planet Reveal Surprised Scientists
Science Town, USA Scientists were astonished when they revealed to the press their most recent scientific discovery. "Earth is actually an artificial satellite created by an alien culture and was used as a movie set in a D-movie eons ago" spoke th...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Attempts Suicide by Pelting the New York Jets with Eggs
Pittsburgh, PA-Justin Bieber, who recently joined the Pittsburgh Steelers in their Bible study meeting, was reportedly wanted by the NFL after pelting the Steelers' latest opponents, the New York Jets, with eggs during their post-halftime huddle.
Read full storySpacecraft Philae's First Words Back to Earth
Dr. Isaac Dreamflogger, leading the successful Rosetta Mission to land a spacecraft on Comet 67P orbiting 310 million miles from earth has taken questions on the mighty achievement at a news conference in London. This is the first conference to be he...
Read full storyBeing sober now classed as legitimate fundraising event
The act of not drinking for 31 days has now been officially recognised as the most gruelling charity sponsorship activity in the world today, it has emerged. Emma Thorpe, spokesman for the 'Stoptober' movement said "It used to be enough to train r...
Read full storyObama takes over Google
We cannot say we did not see it coming. Google and its million or so internet service providers are to be controlled by new laws soon to be enforced. Emperor Barack Obama acting as Commander in Chief has issued a new proclamation under Executive Orde...
Read full storySecret Recording of Pope's Conversation Released
A tape recording of a private conversation between President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and visiting Pope Francis has been smuggled out of Turkey. Released on the internet only last night, it is already causing severe embarrassment to all concerned. Th...
Read full storyWalmart Exploits Workers, It's a Matter Of Ethics.
AP - Almost exactly a year ago, a Walmart in Ohio made headlines for an employee food drive intended to help support their fellow Walmart workers. Now come reports of additional stores rolling out the donation bins, showing that the retailers really...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi
The Fungus Awards is an annual European awards ceremony honouring fungus related achievements in the mould and putrefaction industry. Winners are awarded the coveted golden mushroom statuette. The awards, first presented in 1929 at the Grand Hotel Bu...
Read full storyRussian man who was given suspended prison sentence for vandalising Colosseum denies he was ever in Rome
A Russian tourist visiting the city of Rome was given a suspended jail sentence yesterday by an Italian court for committing an act of vandalism. The resident of Moscow scrawled the words "This belongs to Mother Russia" on the ancient Colosseum. T...
Read full storyGet It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)
HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE - Has-been "actor" Burt Reynolds, who has lived beyond his means for many years, is offering over 600 "personal items" to the highest bidder at an auction at the Palms Casino Resort in Sin City (a. k. a. "Las Vegas"). The...
Read full storySanta celebrates 10 years of Halloween tradition
NORTH POLE - For the tenth consecutive year, Santa Claus gave out coal and candy canes to trick-or-treaters. Hordes of children and their parents traveled to the North Pole to meet the jolly old man, who happily welcomed each visitor by name.
Read full storyISIS expands oil business to include gas stations with cafes plus religious services at the barbecue out back
Current reports indicate ISIS is not only looking for managers for its oil refineries, with a $225,000 annual salary, but also establishing a chain of gas stations across the middle east. The name CALron is being considered, inspired by Chevron,...
Read full storyReport Suggest That Not All Zombies Flesh Eating
A study conducted by the University of West Georgia has concluded that not all Zombies, or 'Walking Dead' are flesh eating - in fact some are quite friendly. "There is a wide misconception that every reanimated rotting corpse is a danger to living...
Read full storyMan uses GPS, still can't find girlfriend's clitoris
Some use their fingers. Some try with their tongues. Some even research it online. However, some men still struggle to find their girlfriend's clitoris. Although one Michigan-man recently took his clit-reconnaissance efforts to a-whole-other...
Read full storyJacksonville Jaguars owner spooked as $100m ocean-going runabout sprouts a leak
London - Pakistani-American billionaire Shahid Khan's brand new superyacht Kismet was seen limping to emergency moorings this afternoon after springing a leak close to Blackfriars Bridge on the Thames in London. Named after the Scottish word for '...
Read full storyFerguson Officer Unwittingly Admits His True Motive Behind Killing Unarmed Teen
In a Channel 5 investigative report with journalist Jim Rosenthal, the Ferguson Caucasian police officer, who allegedly shot an unarmed African American teen to death in August, unwittingly admitted his true motive behind shooting the teen. Rosenthal asked the officer the following question, "Is it possible that the suspect could not drop his gun simply because he did not have a gun?" to which...
Read full storyElite Colleges Add "Hoop-Jumping" to Admission Criteria
Cambridge, MA-In order to select the "most qualified" undergraduate candidates from an increasingly selective applicant pool, Harvard College has added a Standardized Hoop-Jumping Test (SHJT) to its admissions criteria, and the rest of the Ivy League...
Read full storyDNA is a Secularist Conspiracy
The following is a partial reprint of a handbill given to me one Sunday morning as I stumbled to my pickup after a wild night partying in Athens, Ga, home of the University of Georgia. At issue was the recent DNA extracted from a 37,000 year old hum...
Read full storyLewis Hamilton has fastest designer beard on the planet!
Newly crowned F1 world champion Brit, Lewis Hamilton, has also been crowned the prettiest champion ever apart from Scot, Jackie Stewart, whose red hair tickled the lassies fancies whilst blowing in the wind and kilt bearing a fine pair of ginger knoc...
Read full storyISIS leader commits self-immolation to initiate new beheading program throughout jihadis across the middle east
In a surprising new development, Mr. Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of the Islamic State (aka IS/ISIS) has come forth with a program titled "put a sack in your sacrifice" aimed at jihadis waging holy war across the region. This has involved a maneuver in th...
Read full storyArizona School Board May Burn Science Books
GILBERT, Ariz. - A biology textbook, widely used in the state, has come under attack by a suburban school board in Gilbert. The school board has voted to exise or redact two pages in the book -544 and 545 -because they discuss sexually transmitted d...
Read full storyCreationist Breakthrough: Actually, the World is Really, Really Old!
The booming pseudoscience industry in the USA has recently got a huge boost, as one Young-Earth "Creation Science" Institute has made an earth-shaking and absolutely unprecedented breakthrough. Yes: apparently, contrary to previous, less empirica...
Read full storyHurley, Wisconsin- "A Drunkards Dream If I Ever Did See One!"
This phrase from 'Up On Cripple Creek' by The Band pretty well sums up the first and perhaps the last conscious impression that one would have of Hurley, Wisconsin. I had heard a couple times from people in Ironwood, Michigan just across the Montreal River and the state line from Hurley that it was 'where everyone goes to drink'. Coming into town from Highway 2 and arriving at the main junctio...
Read full storyObama Loses Entire National Treasury to Internet Scammers
Washington, DC The United States was shocked and astounded when the country found out that President Obama had lost the entire contents of the US Treasury to Internet scam artists. "It was a really good deal, where I could double the entire Treasu...
Read full storyDennis Rodman Brings Peace to the World
Pyongyang, North Korea-Dennis Rodman, BFF of Kim Jong Un, rotund dictator of North Korea, made Kim bend to his will and free two American prisoners from North Korean labor camps, it was announced yesterday. (Rodman also mentioned that it was he who t...
Read full storyMaverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!
RAF Lossiemouth confirmed to the The Daily Nettle today, that one of their most daring pilots, Flight Lootenant Wing Commander Flight Captain Viceroy Gordon 'Goose' Maverick, has been carpeted by station big-wigs for the second time in a week, after...
Read full storyLorde's New Songs Leaked to Media
Lorde's newest songs have been leaked ot the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander's latest songs. The source says "Little White Yugos" is likely to be at least a moderate success on the pop charts. "All the...
Read full storyPhobias now Curable. Guaranteed!
Medical scientists in America have taken a keen interest in the discovery by Dr. Bedafford of the Brighton and Sussex Medical School who successfully cured a patient of Arachnophobia accidentally when he had the man's damaged left amygdala removed.
Read full storyReba Mcentire Outraged After Obama Names Loretta Lynch to US Attorney General
NASHVILLE, TN - Country superstar singer, Reba Mcentire, told The Spoof today that she was outraged that President Obama named Loretta Lynn to the top law enforcement position in America. Reba said she Turned On The radio and apparently became The...
Read full storyGolden Rule of NOT Tumble Drying Expensive Shirts Broken
The golden rule of NOT EVER tumble drying a Florida man's GOOD shirts has been broken and violated - resulting in two inches of material simply disappearing into thin air. The once comfortable white and blue designer label polo shirts which Dunc...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill
The Isle of Wight has yet another world record to add to the burgeoning collection of records held in Newport Town hall, when it was discovered that the World's Largest Mole Hill has been discovered in Merstone. "Not many people visit Merstone," s...
Read full storyRay Rice Suspension Overturned, Now Eligible To Punch Roger Goodell
HOOTERS -- Former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has had his indefinite suspension from the NFL overturned, and is immediately eligible to punch NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in the elevator of his office suite. "I just wanna get back to...
Read full storyIsle Of Wight Factoids - 10 Things You Didn't Know
1) The Isle of Wight contains less prisoners per head of the population than Alcatraz or San Quentin. 2) Despite over one hundred movies about daring escapes from The Isle of Wight, only one person, Harry Houdiney is known to have successfully escaped and lived to tell the tale in 1955. 3) How big was the average b and b room in 1943? Each single room was 5 feet by 9 feet. Double rooms ha...
Read full storyHefner's Wife Tells All
Former Girl of the Playboy Mansion Kendra Wilkinson has been telling her "I'm a Celeb" mates about her time as Hef's girlfriend. She told her jungle pals that sex with Hef wasn't obligatory and that the girls had a choice, but that "they did tend...
Read full storyBrisket Ain't Corned Beef and I Bet You Buy Retail Too
For years, something like this email gets dusted off and transmitted millions of times. I received mine this morning. I got bored so I have embellished and contributed my own personal experiences from long, long ago; when I was a active member of the tribe. I can no longer afford the dues… but they'll welcome me back with open arms if I come up with the arrears plus late fees and interest If...
Read full storyWhat The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)
AMMANBEINGAMMAN, Jordan - Sure, according to a significant amount of strategic unnamed sources (typically those without any sort of sufficiently accumulated sooner or later go-to funds, hopefully designated for any and all doomsday styled rainy days hell bent on impolitely presenting themselves, via whichever suddenly well past-due timeframe quickly proves to be dramatically necessary, and/or, ju...
Read full storyRepublicans Will Discontinue Social Security and Use Money for Monuments to Republican Presidents
Washington, DC-Republicans today announced that Social Security will be discontinued and the money saved used to build memorials to U.S. Presidents-coincidentally enough all Republican presidents. The memorials will include: The Benjamin Harrison...
Read full storySweden intel utilizes full resources on mystery submarine with spectators, waders, and bottom chasers
Sweden's hunt for its mystery submarine turned virulent today with reports the mini-submarine may have been an experimental fish launched from an Iceland or Denmark laboratory. This fish is an underwater midget marine laboratory for examining sea...
Read full storyApple Stores Reject Apple Pay in Favor of CurrentC
Apple Computers, Inc. has announced that the Apple Stores, being a brick and mortar retailer, have joined the MCX (Merchange Customer Exchange) and will follow in Walmart's footsteps by no longer accepting Apple Pay. "Walmart is the world's larges...
Read full storyTurkeys Fitted With Self Delivery GPS Guidance
The rivalry between established mail delivery departments such as the U.K. Post Office and Amazon etc. has been further complicated by the growing number of items being dropped at home adresses by drones and automated model delivery robots, but now...
Read full storyBarrie and Vlad get down over flaming duck in Beijing restaurant
Spokespersons for both Mr. Obama and Mr. Putin have "cleared the air" that there is no new odor of disagreement between the two nations. Last night both joined China's President Xi Jinping at The Flaming Canard Orientale Restaurant in Beijing, on...
Read full storySteve Perry, Journey Hit Song 'Lights' Lift San Fran to World Series Title
KANSAS CITY, MO - In a thrilling World Series between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals, in which both teams seemed evenly matched, the title came down to one small difference - one team had a kick-ass song from the late 70'...
Read full storyAmazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers
Heisenberg's quantum principles have been used to make the "Decahedral" processor chips in the new "faster than light" computers which will be available for Christmas. Predictably Britain's James Bond and the C.I.A. have ordered one each from Amazio...
Read full storyFirst Photos Of New Star Trek Series And Its Stars!
A leak in the security of the new Star Trek series has provided a peek at the highly anticipated show. As you can see the players will be wearing an all new design of Star Fleet uniforms (writer's note- to see this image you will have to Google 'P...
Read full storyIsle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked
The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...
Read full storySofia Vergara Shocked That Some Products Not Endorsed By Her - Offers To Help Out
A shell shocked Sofia Vergara is still reeling in horror after discovering that there were still products and services that the buxom Colombian actress was not endorsing. "Call me mad - but it seems as though there are many products and services...
Read full storyJesus Christ Wants U.S. To Deport The Undocumented
Senator Ted Crap (R-TX) this week has called President Obama a "dictator" and GOP House Speaker Boner termed him an "emperor" over his executive order to shield 4 million undocumented immigrants from deportation. Senator Crap said that Obama is "J...
Read full storyLabour shadow cabinet minister apologises for spray painting a phallic symbol on a Rochester voter's wall and tweeting a photo of it
Labour front bencher Seely Kau today expressed "regret for any offence I may have caused" after tweeting a photograph she had taken of a Rochester UKIP voter's house on which she had spray painted a phallus. Ms Kau, who lives in a £3 million house...
Read full storySweden sends female prosecutor to question Assange she disappears into his room for two hours
The prosecutor's office in Sweden has finally sent a representative to question Julian Assange in Ecuador's London embassy. This assistant prosecutor is Ms. Valerie Thighborg, 29, brunette, slender, wearing Madame Orientale rouge lipstick, and att...
Read full storyOil Company Files $1billion Lawsuit Against Tiny Town
CALIFORNIA - Using millions of gallons of water and secret chemicals harmful to people, the environment and the earth, oil and gas companies crack open underground rock formations, forcing deposits of oil and gas tucked deep within the earth up to th...
Read full storyQueen to Debut New Cooking Show on BBC
London, UK-Buckingham Palace announced today that Queen Elizabeth will fulfill a lifelong dream of hers and debut a cooking show on the BBC this Thursday. "My mother the former Queen always said I wasn't good enough to have my own cooking show. T...
Read full storyObama fires himself appoints Michelle Secretary of Defense
Yesterday the President decided he must step down, following a long consultation with himself at the mirror in a white house bathroom. He was willing, he said to news services, to swap positions with Joe Biden and let him try the presidency while...
Read full storyRNC Chairman Tells Black America to Accept Ferguson Decision and Shut Up; Also Announces 9th Benghazi Investigation
It's been a mixed weekend for conservatives, fitting as they always seem to be mixed up. Republican National Committee chairman Reince Preibus held a press conference today to discuss the weekend's events. The conference started with Preibus prai...
Read full storyWhoops! Obama Wets Pants As He Bows To Generals
In its longest war in history, the U.S. has been in Afghanistan for 13 years. Now, no end is in sight. Reversing himself and Giving in to Pentagon Brass' demands that he violate his promise that the U.S. would have no combat role there next year,...
Read full storyGOP celebrates control of congress for the next two years with never-saw-a-war-they-didn't-like policies
Eager to get to it, Republicans are already holding planning meetings on how to expand the nation's wars. Come January they will be in position to move their committees toward war for the new year, buttressed with the thinking of President George...
Read full storyThe Biosphere Reportedly on Life Support
EARTH--The Biosphere, the global sum of all the ecosystems on Earth, is reportedly on life support, says its children Geosphere, Hydrosphere, Cryosphere, and Atmosphere. Biosphere, which has been suffering from a number of terminal conditions for...
Read full storyJapan to sink to bottom of the ocean after leak in Kyoto found
The nation of Japan is panicking after it was discovered that the country had sprung a leak late last night and could sink to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The leak was found by Shinji Ono, a credit controller from Kyoto who said he found it in hi...
Read full storyBill Cosby Says That He Blacks Out After Eating Jell-O Pudding Pops and Can't Remember Anything Afterwards
Beverly Hills, CA In a startling admission, one-time popular comedian Bill Cosby responded to rape allegations by multiple women with the "Jell-O Defense." Dr. Cosby's lawyer admitted that Cosby hasn't been able to properly respond to the charges...
Read full storySarah Ferguson and Sarah Palin to Co-Host New Comedy Show
London, England-Former Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson, and failed U.S. Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, announced today that they would be co-hosting a serious documentary news show highlighting the roles of strong and powerful women of today...
Read full storyAncient Recordings Uncovered!
Researchers at Trent University have found a way to reach back in time and listen to ancient civilizations in their most public and private moments. This startling breakthrough comes shortly after researchers at MIT learned how to "hear" through...
Read full storyFans in uproar as Dr Who is suspended by General Medical Council for "touching a Dalek's wand"
Camp British adventurer Dr. Who has been suspended for 6 months by the GMC Fitness to Practise Panel after being found guilty of "touching a Dalek's wand". The unnamed Dalek alleged that the incident a few years ago, telling the Panel "THA DOKTA T...
Read full storyConspiracy Theories Mostly True - New Investigation
Almost all conspiracy theories have turned out to be true, according to an investigation commissioned to find out the truth about what everyone is really pretending to do. The report, secretly published as an apparent maintenance tender form for the...
Read full storyISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage
In a stunning development that bodes well for world peace as we approach this Christmas time, world famous football team Manchester United has revealed a recruiting drive aimed at Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of ISIS. A representative of Manchester...
Read full storyQueen and Prince Philip Keep Location a Secret to Hide from Charles and Camille
London, UK It was leaked by Buckingham Palace that the reason that no one knows where the Queen and Prince Philip are holidaying is that they wanted to go somewhere where Charles and Camilla can't locate them. "I don't want ONE MORE holiday ruined...
Read full storyFascinating Brain Tapeworm Found
A rare Brainworm which lived in man's brain for four years has been found by scientists. The man had thought he had a migraine following a Star Trek Movie where a parasite was introduced into someone to make them compliant with the commands of a dera...
Read full storySCANDAL!- Many Republicans Found To Be Hooked On Koch!
A shocking report has reached news desks throughout the country that many Republicans, especially those in great positions of responsibility, are hooked on Koch. Koch, which first made it appearance in the 40's, has become more virulent in recent...
Read full storyCataclysmic Comet Collision to End World in Two Weeks Time
Scientists controlling the Rosetta Space Probe's landing on a huge comet were jubilant that the mission had succeeded this morning, but their joy turned to horror when the Orbiter Craft plunged into the comet and shifted it into a deadly collision co...
Read full storyVladimir Putin's Planned Erection Of New Berlin Wall
Though Vladimir Putin got away with annexing Crimea, crushing Georgia, is in the process of smashing Chechnya and invading the Ukraine (in a obvious attempt to recreate the old Soviet Union) he is now setting his sights on East Germany with plans for...
Read full storyKeith Richards was my role model says park bench hobo
New York - "I spent my formative years staring at vids of Keith Richards crashed out on the living room couch," reclusive Central Park vagrant Wally Richards said today, "it's what inspired me to a life of booze and drugs." The comments come amid...
Read full storyScottish Celebrities In New Year's Eve Strike Threat
Hogmanay 2014/2015 could be a sober affair with Scotland virtually on a general strike over the normally enthusiastic celebration period. Dissatisfied with a huge list of things which have turned out to be empty Westminster promises, the Scottis...
Read full storyPrince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson to Remarry For the Children
London, England-Tired of living in squalid, back street non-Royal quarters, Sarah Ferguson got back in touch with her ex-husband Prince Andrew. She had been hearing that he had been confined to squalid back street palaces since their divorce, Fergie...
Read full storyDonald Trump Tries to Crash Meeting Between Bill Gates and Warren Buffet-Made to Wait All Day in Lobby
New York, NYDonald Trump was left sitting in the lobby at the BOSS lobby (short for Billionaire's Organization to Surmise Shit) today, the equivalent of having to sit at the "little kid's table" at Thanksgiving. Apparently, the big boys like Warre...
Read full storyRich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving - Mostly the Rich
"I am thankful that I have a job even though I have to work today 'cause my boss told me too." said Chad Shafted in a slight break between customers at 11 at night at the Des Plaines Walmart in Illinois. "I am thankful even though I am not being paid...
Read full storyFerguson learns valuable lesson: Don't announce bad news at night
Ferguson, Mo. - Businesses were ablaze and bullets flew overhead throughout the night in Ferguson as officials chose the late evening as the best time to announce that a white police officer would not be indicted in the shooting of an unarmed black t...
Read full storyUS National Basketcase Association forks out $1m for Kate and William to watch LeBron James
New York - Shameless Brit poseurs Kate and William have accepted a million dollar bung to watch a dreary basketball game during a forthcoming New York trip. The PR stunt is being billed as basketcase bosses' dream come true as the UK's top poodlef...
Read full storyNew warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north
Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...
Read full storyStrange Crop Circle of Richard M. Nixon Found on White House Lawn
A large crop circle miraculously appeared on the front lawn of the White House overnight Wednesday, Nov. 5, leaving the Washington 'good and great' shaking their heads in disbelief. "I swear, it's a stunning caricature of the head of Richard M. Ni...
Read full storyNew products for Ebola scare proposed plus additional restrictions and theories
A new company named KRAP Inc. has stepped forward to take action in the Ebola crisis. KRAP Inc. (Kaci Risks and Preventions) maintains it is responding in the spirit of Salem in the 1690's, Senator McCarthy in the 1950's, and the anthrax scare on...
Read full storyNopology: Or, How to Retract a Racist Remark by a Republican
It came out on Facebook this week, at the website Addicting Information, that a Republican, Rusty DePass, replied to a post made on Facebook in 2009 by someone named Trey Walker. Walker's post was, "Just heard there is a gorilla loose at Riverbanks Zoo. Staff and visitors hiding. Full lockdown. Wow." Rusty Depass, a GOP activist and former chairman of the state elections commission in South Ca...
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