Hogmanay 2014/2015 could be a sober affair with Scotland virtually on a general strike over the normally enthusiastic celebration period.
Dissatisfied with a huge list of things which have turned out to be empty Westminster promises, the Scottish Department of Hogmanification has said it will go on strike each New Year until the promises have been made good.
Celebrities including The Krankies are to strike and drink only soft drinks over the New Year. Better soccer results, television, radio and cheaper whiskey had allegedly been promised by a now disgraced Government representative in return for the population of Scotland promising to vote to stay in the U.K.
The strikes will mean that Edinburgh and Glasgow will probably not give permission for T.V. coverage of New Year celebrations and everyone in Scotland will try to drink sensibly over the Hogmanay periods. The "Industrial" action will continue until the promises are carried out.
Bagpipes will be fitted with silencers and kilts will be mothballed until Burns' night when Iron Brew will be the only permitted drink.