Man uses GPS, still can't find girlfriend's clitoris

Funny story written by rimisaC

Saturday, 22 November 2014


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Some use their fingers. Some try with their tongues. Some even research it online.

However, some men still struggle to find their girlfriend's clitoris.

Although one Michigan-man recently took his clit-reconnaissance efforts to a-whole-other level.

The problem, though?

He still couldn't find it.

"It's just embarrassing, you know?" admitted clit-oblivious John Sampson of Sterling Heights, MI. "I really want to pleasure her, but I just have no idea what I'm doing."

Sampson has been dating his current girlfriend for about 2 months, and has consistently struggled to find his girlfriend's clitoris.

So in order to help his cause, Sampson recently purchased a GPS from a sporting-goods store near his Sterling Heights home.

The thing didn't help him, or his girlfriend for that matter, one bit, though.

"It didn't work," said Sampson. "You know, I typed it in, and said I'd be there in 2 seconds, but I didn't see it, or couldn't find it."

The discouraged Sampson turned to a local Michigan nonprofit-group called We're Here to Help You Find It, but even with the efforts of the group, Sampson still couldn't locate his girlfriend's clitoris.

"That guy has no idea what he's doing," asserted Diane Maze, president of We're Here to Help You Find It. "Felt so bad for his girlfriend, we donated a vibrator to her."

It's hard to say whether Sampson's girlfriend will leave him or not, but to placate his situation, Sampson purchased his girlfriend and her friends tickets to a NBA game as a sort of girl's night out.

"I got her and her friends some NBA tickets," he said.

Through his connections as a local journalist, Sampson was able to couple the tickets for his girlfriend with locker-room passes.

"Even got her and friends into the locker-room after the game," Sampson explained. "It's weird, though, she's kind of been walking with a limp ever since she got back that night."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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