GOP celebrates control of congress for the next two years with never-saw-a-war-they-didn't-like policies

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 8 November 2014

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Capture Sevastopol and roam The Black Sea a US top priority

Eager to get to it, Republicans are already holding planning meetings on how to expand the nation's wars.

Come January they will be in position to move their committees toward war for the new year, buttressed with the thinking of President George W. Bush: "War is good for the economy."

Senators Mr. McCain, Mr. McConnell, and Speaker of the House Mr. Boehner, are reported laying the groundwork for a bold new study, None Dare Call It Reason.

The authors offer a prefatory note stating their ideas are not only reasonable but a way to end the current recession.

None Dare Call It Reason offers the following thinking.

Pieces of the globe where the US is not yet at war are reported under scrutiny for January of the new year.

Venezuela. We're not at war with Venezuela at this time. But should we be?

Or Switzerland. Can't we stir up some trouble there, somehow? There must be something.

Iceland. Just take it! It could be useful. Or Newfoundland maybe.

Meanwhile of course we'll need to control Crimea, Sevastopol, and the rest of The Black Sea.

Poroshenko will get his support.

Our private armies are itching to get back in there, plus a no-fly zone around the entire Ukraine and Crimea terrain is possible.

The best CIA and State Department Intel is also bending toward this developmental thinking.

According to reliable reports Russia is already leaning away from the Putin toward the cleaner, whiter minds of the West.

Crimea and eastern Ukraine are trembling, and Angela is coming right along.

As to the Middle East, the obvious extinction trail begins in Syria then through Iraq into Iran, and continuing with that frontier tide pool Afghanistan.

China can wait for the moment.

Senator McCain has stepped forward with additional notions, resolve obvious on his person.

"Yes, I'm willing to get back into my uniform," he said. "We need senior leadership that knows what it's doing instead of dithering."

"As to comparisons with Vietnam, yes, I feel there is a parallel. We entered both Vietnam and the Middle East as buttress against the spread of evil elements trying to take over the globe."

Mr. McCain continued:

"War is patriotic plus jobs in the factories."


"If we don't protect our gas and oil industries, who will?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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