Whoops! Obama Wets Pants As He Bows To Generals

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 22 November 2014

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In its longest war in history, the U.S. has been in Afghanistan for 13 years. Now, no end is in sight. Reversing himself and Giving in to Pentagon Brass' demands that he violate his promise that the U.S. would have no combat role there next year, the President today stated, "Sure I'm erratic, fickle and inconsistent but "shoot, what do people expect? I'm a politician aren't I? Folks would have to be pretty lame to believe me about anything."

Obama once said then that 10,000 U.S. troops now there would be limited next year to training Afghan forces to fight the remnants of Al Qaeda. But now they will engage in operations against the Taliban who are no threat the the U.S. homeland. We'll see how many of our troops will die and be maimed. It will be worth the cost " said the President.

"The Pentagon, which hasn't won a real shooting war since 1945, is trying to win this one," said a retired top level official on the Obama team, who spoke on the condition that he remain anonymous. "The military brass are absolutely desperate to achieve a victory."

"Look back to 2012 when the 'surge,' that was started in 2009, ended in Afghanistan. The addition of 30,000 of our troops then was a massive failure that killed and wounded thousands of our boys. That was when Gen. Stanly McChrystal, exclaimed, "Whoops, wrong again!," when it turned out his surge advice was idiotic," stated the source.

"Obama was opposed to the surge but then, as now, he gets all weak-kneed, wobbly, and wets his pants as he succumbs to the crisp uniform. ribboned chests of the brass, and their self-assurance. Obama should have learned then from the massive surge failure that the generals don't know their asses from hot rocks," the former top aide said angrily.

Growing even more heated, he exclaimed that Obama knows that the "stupid American people, who of course support our sons and daughters, think any criticism of brainless generals is somehow an attack on the troops themselves."

When asked to comment on these remarks, Sen. James Inhoff (R-OK), ranking member of the Senate Armed Services committee replied, "What's the fuss all about? There hasn't been civilian control of the military brass for years in the U.S. Of course the Generals manipulate politicians and the public. What's new about that?"

When asked if he agreed that Americans are stupid, he said that he could only speak about Middle America and the South. "In our Bible Belt, we are unthinking patriots, worship guns, are anti-science, and think Jesus was a climate change denier. We are intelligent people."

Meanwhile, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff says that American boots on the ground may well be needed to defeat ISIS in the U.S.' already failed Iraq war there. Obama is expected to salute the Generals in their attempt to finally win one. And, once there, it is expected that Americans and Sen. Inhoff will support the troops no matter what the cost in lives and treasure. Obama has never explained what U.S. interests are in the Middle East.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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