Almost all conspiracy theories have turned out to be true, according to an investigation commissioned to find out the truth about what everyone is really pretending to do. The report, secretly published as an apparent maintenance tender form for the House Of Parliament lifts the lid on Government plots and official cover ups over the last 50 years. Revelations include:
Prince Charles has never passed a driving test.
The Government has built a massive shelter on the moon for wealthy people in case global warming releases polar bears everywhere.
Elvis Presley is running the U.S. with Michael Jackson from a giant submarine underneath the North Pole.
Fracking is being done to hide large amounts of oil and gas underground to keep future fuel prices high.
Turquoise lizard-people run all aspects of global authority from the dark side of the moon.