Sweden sends female prosecutor to question Assange she disappears into his room for two hours

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 1 November 2014

image for Sweden sends female prosecutor to question Assange she disappears into his room for two hours
Ms. Thighborg speaking to the press following her initial meeting with Assange

The prosecutor's office in Sweden has finally sent a representative to question Julian Assange in Ecuador's London embassy.

This assistant prosecutor is Ms. Valerie Thighborg, 29, brunette, slender, wearing Madame Orientale rouge lipstick, and attired in short white dress.

To review, Mr. Assange has been in refuge in this embassy since June of 2012 due to being wanted for questioning on his relations with two Swedish women.

There have been rumors of sexual misconduct by Mr. Assange but no charges. The females in question continued to party for several days with Mr. Assange after the alleged misconduct, despite their complaints.

Swedish prosecutors have requested Mr. Assange come to Sweden for questioning but he points out he cannot leave the embassy at risk of being extradited to the US and clapped away a la Chelsea Manning due to his exposing secret information via Wikileaks.

After Ms. Thighborg arrived British bobbies were kept busy surveiling every window, nook, and cranny of the Embassy edifice for anything valuable to assist the UK and US case against Assange as a journalist.

One guard reported "sounds" from a certain quarter of the building not quite distinguishable from speech, and possibly in the realm of "sighing."

He added, referring to the guard force, "At least we're earning our fifteen thousand pounds a day for once."

Inside the embassy, an official who requested anonymity stated Ms. Thighborg had been immediately invited into Mr. Assange's room and the door closed.

This official said he suspected some kind of "test" was being given to Mr. Assange as part of the questioning. Asked why this speculation he stated that at one point Ms. Thighborg had mentioned Mr Assange's eyes "never left my middle region."

Further pressed to protect embassy propriety from whatever might be happening behind Mr. Assange's closed door, this official leaned his ear against the framework but heard only murmuring.

When at the end of two hours Ms. Thighborg emerged with flushed cheeks, she retracted her earlier statement which had been made at the one hour point when she left Mr. Assange's closed room for a moment to get a drink of water.

That Mr. Assange's eyes had been preoccupied centrally on her anatomy was only "a passing impression," she said.

At her departure from the embassy she refused to reveal any further details but did mention, as though speaking to herself, "After all, he's been in there for two and a half years, and he does look pale."

Most puzzling, however, and of new concern to Swedish authorities, Ms. Thighborg announced she would return to stay the night with Mr. Assange, as further examination was needed to come to a conclusion on his tendencies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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