Apple Stores Reject Apple Pay in Favor of CurrentC

Funny story written by improvman

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

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Apple Computers, Inc. has announced that the Apple Stores, being a brick and mortar retailer, have joined the MCX (Merchange Customer Exchange) and will follow in Walmart's footsteps by no longer accepting Apple Pay.

"Walmart is the world's largest retailer," said Tim Cook, Apple CEO. "They knew what they're doing. We've only been a brick and mortar retailer for a few years. Well, not really brick and mortar. Some of our stores are in malls and our walls are made of whatever mall walls are made from. If Walmart doesn't want to accept Apple Pay, neither should we."

CurrentC has been criticized as being clunkier than Apple Pay or Google Wallet, as well as less secure. Actually, it's less secure than walking around with hundred dollar bills sticking out of your pocket.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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